Can't believe im finally posting something. Been dealing with being in the closet for way to long. Went to a therapist and she told me i was gay and had to come to terms with myself needless to say not as easy as she said it would be. When my marriage fell apart i told my best friend i thought i was gay and he totally rejected me and he basically stopped being my friend. It really was a crappy feeling to have. Moved away and became distant with friends and been lost and confused since. Cant tell family because the would diss own me and tell me im going to hell. Feeling lost
Hey there! Welcome to our community. It is a great, lovely place to get advice and put some things together. First, I am so, so sorry to hear about what's happened. A marriage ending is enough stress (you will definitely find those in similar situations here), but then your best friend dumping you, not being able to tell your family, moving to a new place ... that's the pits. It's a lot of stress. The good news: there is life after all of this! There are so many people here with your same story, or are going through different parts of your story. You have come to the right place. I assure you! Note: try not to let your stress get out of hand! It can make you sick and isn't worth it! Find some techniques to calm yourself ASAP if you happen to be going through any intense stress and/or anxiety. I certainly did (have extreme stress & anxiety, that is)!!
Hey confused80, welcome to EC! In life, in order to live your own truth, and to live that truth with integrity, you may need to shut some doors to those who cannot, or will not, see what that truth is. In life, however, when a door closes a window opens, and fresh new air replaces the stale air that has accumulated in your closet. In circumstances such as yours, do what LGBT people have done for decades: build your own "family", become who you are through us. It will take time, there will be episodes where you will feel alone (so come here often), but living with integrity, living as you are and letting everyone know it, unflinchingly, is the best you can do. If you carefully weigh the costs and benefits, and I mean an honest assessment of both, you may conclude that the cost of being in the closet will be too high. We are psychologically programmed to feel losses more deeply than we feel gains, try to overcome the paralysis that can come from that, it isn't rational. There are benefits you can only discover by being yourself, so learn what they are from us. Life is full of plusses and minuses, we are here to affirm to you that being who you are will immeasurably make your life better. Yesterday, I went to Boston for the funeral of an old and dear friend who died way too early at the age of 52, as always, these are stark reminders of how short life can be. If you fully realize how precious each day is, you may consider that there is no time to waste being who you are not. We are here for you; live your life, live your truth, and be yourself!
greatwhale couldn't have said it any better. Confiding in a close friend can be so helpful so I can't imagine what that was like for you. Your in person support group is out there somewhere and it is most definitely here on EC. I've spent far too long in the closet myself.... you're not alone.
Welcome to EC, as others have already said, we're happy to be here and support you through this. (&&&)
