I posted on here about my situation around a month ago and since then haven't made any progression. I feel further away each day from the possibility of things ever changing for me and feel that I have to now switch my focus on how to cope with the fact I'm likely to be alone for the rest of my life. Which is hard to come to terms with at 25. Just yesterday my father was ranting about how disgusting it is that TV channels push gay people in our faces to try and make it seem normal, when it's to use his words 'anything but'. Hearing that just further damages what little confidence I have left. My parents are too sensitive and set in their views, and I don't think I have the strength to fall out with them. I'm beginning to question if it's worth it anyway. It seems that there are few gay men that are actually interested in a relationship and seem to be after one thing. Maybe my parents views aren't overly wrong. I wish I could feel the desire to have a relationship with a woman, but can't, even though I do feel physically attracted. Mind you there does seem to be some disregard towards bisexual people from both gay and straight people, including on this site. I can't imagine my parents would understand in the slightest.
No, and I doubt it will ever be financially possible. Basically I have the choice between not telling them and my resentment towards their views growing and continuing for the rest of my life - or telling them and them making me feel more sh*t and more of a failure of a person than I already feel. It's difficult because they're all I have and despite their views and the fact they're somewhat controlling, I love them...
I think perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself right now is start building a strong support system of LGBT friends. You will start to feel less like they're all you have, and will gain some hope for moving forward. I also strongly suggest an LGBT counsellor. ---------- Post added 28th Apr 2016 at 06:48 AM ---------- And of course big big hugs, were always here to listen (&&&)
Will try to keep my response brief. I agree with baristajedi 100%. Seek out an LGBT support group. You are caught in a rut dude. Mentally and psychologically. Hum, how to break this. Friends. You need friends. Friends are little network groups. Put out the word among your group of friends that you need a place to live. Get away from your parents. To understand you, where you are at, and HOW to address your needs. Think of your brain suppressing your sexuality like a container of poison. (the poison is called shame in psychology circles) To get at the true you, you need to open the valve and drain the poison from your brain. Only then will you begin to UNDERSTAND you and where you need to go. How to do this. LGBT group and friends. I invite you to write on my wall if you desire further interaction from me. I'll try to follow your post but I cant guarantee it. ---------- Post added 28th Apr 2016 at 08:34 AM ---------- Also grab a backpack find a cooperative farm and go there. Do something radical like that.
First, why are you still living with your parents? Yes, I agree that bringing this up to your dad might cause a lot of friction and might well leave you without a place to live, but at this point you need to get away from them. You love them, yes....but it's time to establish yourself. I am not doubting your sexuality, nor your issues regarding your sexual orientation. However, in reading your post, it appears that it's almost secondary and the primary issue seems to be in your living arrangement and your relationship with your parents. Everything can't change at once. Work on the primary issue, and then some of the other things might fall into place naturally. If they don't, you will be in a better frame of mind to deal with it. At least, that's my two cents.
Hey man, I know some people gotta live with their parents. It's OK if that's what you *really* have to do. My brother would have to if he wasn't married. I would if I ever got divorced, at least for a while. But do everything you can do to separate yourself from them. If they have a second entrance, see if you can repurpose it toward your room, using temporary walls to carve out an "apartment" for yourself. Get a fridge and a hotplate, make your room like a studio apt. Ideally see if you can get them to get you a separate apartment as an investment. Or, of course ideally if you can own part of it by buying into it up front or buying it from them gradually. And for god's sake man. You are only 25 with no kids or a marriage. You can totally make being gay happen even if you have to hide it from them until you can find someone to move in with. Living with your parents MAY be a necessity but confining yourself to their presence in the way that you seem to be doing is NOT.
