Everybody, thanks for checking in over the past week/few days.. I'm doing good, better than I thought I would. I'm going to steal HereWeGo's format a bit. DAY TWENTY of post-coming out to my wife It's been quite a week. I'm on day four of living separately and settling in to the new-normal. Still looking for the permanent place as crashing in my friend's basement isn't a long-term solution, but it's working for now. [The trigger for me moving out was my wife out'ing me to my Dad and then the resulting argument when she tried to justify it. She called my Dad back and put him on speaker, talking about saving the marriage, working together, She was actually fine on the phone and I decided to stay. However, as soon as we hung up, she launched right back into the verbal headshots/gutshots, passive-aggression and heaps of patronizing and condescension. It's like we didn't even have the conversation seconds ago.] I'm doing surprisingly well, emotionally. I miss my kids like crazy. I'm glad we got them phones this winter so I can call and text. My parents are handling the news ok - they are upset/worried mostly about the end of the marriage, but keep saying how much they love me regardless. ❤️❤️ I'm coming to the realization that my hope/idea of my wife and I working things out in our marriage and her being "ok" married to a woman was... perhaps a tad unrealistic. Despite her beliefs about trans people in general being very positive, this was likely a bridge too far given our history. Sigh. Tomorrow is couple's counseling. Wish us luck.
Hi MsEmma, thanks for starting this thread to share your story. I want to start by saying that prior to knowing your story, I already had the impression that you're brave, strong and confident. These are all things that will serve you well on this journey. Big big hugs to you through these tough times.(&&&) I know you're missing your kids like crazy. How many do you have and how old? How are they doing through all of this? I'm sorry your wife is not being as supportive as you'd hoped. It's going to be a tough road, but you're strong, I know you're going to get through this! Keep posting. We're all here to listen. More hugs (*hug*)
You are so brave, Emma. I really admire your bravery. I'm sending big hugs and good energy your way, hang in there! (*hug*)
We have two - I'll call them A1 and A2 (both of their names start with A's). A1 is a boy and the oldest - he turns 13 tomorrow. He's getting so tall! He has Asperger's and, while high-functioning, he internalizes a lot of his emotions. When my wife and I sat the kids down to talk about me moving out, he was like "Ok. Can I go play my Minecraft now?" But he's been pretty distant since then. A2 is 11 and is as creative as the day is long. She is an amazing artist. She took the news very hard initially - crying, asking why... lots of questions. Since then, she's texted me with hearts and "i love you's" so that's good. I miss them both a ton. We haven't set up a visitation/custody schedule yet since I'm still in a friend's basement, but it's super-high on my priority list along with finding a place where they can stay with me.
MsEmma, I'm so impressed by your courage and the spirit of positive energy your words exude, even when your personal circumstances along this journey are less than ideal at the moment. You inspire me, Lady!
