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dating a GAY person.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RvP, May 1, 2016.

  1. RvP

    RvP
    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Why is it that I can't go after someone I like unless I know they're gay? Why can't I have a dream come true. Why can't I go up to him and tell him if he wants to go out with me. I can't do anything. I like this guy and he's straight. At least I think so. He's a grade above me and I really just wish I could go out with him or ask him on a date but I can't. I can't because He's straight and that annoys me so much. Because it's a real pain to know the truth of why I can't talk to him. And that's for everyone in my school. I can't have any chance of talking to the guy I like because I know the truth and I hate it. It makes me sad and I wish it didn't have to be like that. I can't ask any friends for advice because I don't have a lot of friends and none of them are barley there for me. What I'm asking is what do i do when I know I can't like the guy I like. I hate it so much. Why can I only go for a gay person. I don't know if anyone understands what I'm saying but if you do please help.
     
  2. yuanzi

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    I have had intense crushes on girls twice in my life so far and both of them were straight. I asked myself the same question many many times too (my version was more like why can't I stop having crushes on straight girls). I guess at the end of the day this is no different from liking someone who is unavailable (e.g. a married person or someone not attracted to you at all). I can relate to your pain and frustration but in my opinion there is no quick answer. Give it time and distance yourself from your crush and it will fade sooner or later.

    Btw I used to think if I tried hard enough my crush would 'turn gay' for me. Lol. Don't do it. It is totally not worth it and is unfair to the other person as well, although it won't hurt in your case to make sure he is straight. Once you are sure however, try your best to move on.
     
  3. Justasking100

    Regular Member

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    RvP - you can do what you want. Though if he's not gay all you can hope for is that he is flattered and is nice about it. If you can deal with that then you've nothing to lose. My internalised homophobia has meant that I've found it difficult to be attracted to gay men and find myself crushing on straight men. Perhaps you need to be more comfortable with your sexuality and you'll find it easier to be attracted to gay men.
     
  4. CapColors

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    there are just way too many straighties. it's annoying how many there are.
     
  5. MayButterfly

    Regular Member

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    You know, it doesn't really mean anything if he is straight. I never ever thought about being with a woman and then I met my trigger and instantly felt a powerful connection and fell in love with her though honestly I did try to fight it. And then as our relationship progressed I forgot about our different preference and just became "in love with a person who happens to be a woman who prefers women." She always said being gay didn't define her and you love who you love. She was actually afraid to contact me, and while now we can't be together, I am glad she did contact me otherwise I would have never known the intense love and happiness I could feel with a woman.

    I suggest just try to be friends and do things but don't present it as a date to not scare him off. Maybe he will begin to develop feelings for you, but if not you have a new friend. The answer is always no until you ask right?

    Good luck.