How do you find patience?

So, I've finally embraced the idea of action over reflection. I want to move forward, I feel I'm finally ready to do so many things I wasn't ready for before. I don't want to sit around thinking, reflecting.

But I feel like I have to pause and put everything on hold for at least a couple of weeks, and it's driving me a little nuts. It's just logistical stuff at this point - my husband had to go out of town, and my daughter and I are going to meet him for a holiday for several days before coming home, and then I think things can go back to forward progress.

The stuff I want to do

- establish some expectations with my husband about what we're doing right now.
(I suppose we can hash this out over email, I just feel like I want a back and forth conversation, bouncing things off of each other, talking, listening)

- go out to meet women, go out with women
(I'm partially waiting for the conversations with my husband, but also obviously this can't happen until someone can be with my daughter so I can get out of the house)

- go to meet ups
(There's nothing happening that I can get out to until my husband's back)

- go out with a friend to check out the gay bar scene here
(Need to wait until someone can be with my daughter)

I suppose the reason it's frustrating me is that I'm really not wanting to lose this courage and motivation that I finally have.

What can I do in the meantime? How can I find patience?

The best I've been able to do is live vicariously through gay couples on tv, seriously I'm desperate to feel like I'm not just sitting still, so watching Mikey come out to his family on Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt was my best source of satisfaction in the last couple days, lol.

 

This is helpful, I think maybe 2 things come to mind, I can still chat online with women, and find opportunities to flirt with women.

Perhaps I can write out some stuff for my husband that I want to talk about too.

I like the idea of making a game out of it. ...maybe there are more things o can think kid when I look at it that way.

---------- Post added 4th May 2016 at 03:48 AM ----------

Nope, dude, my post says the opposite of what you're saying . I'm frustrated that I have limitations for a week or two because I just want to be out there doing things now that I'm in a good mindset to do them (happy, eager, enjoying being myself). I know it's hard to view me as having confidence in this area but I do.

Im a mom of a 3 year old in a city where i have no family. It's as simple as that. If I were on my own with my daughter for longer, I'd make opportunities to get out, but it's just short enough that that is not really necessary/feasible but just long enough to frustrate me a bit.

I like your idea of talking with my husband on holiday and I've been thinking the same.

Unfortunately meetups are only scheduled this week when I have my daughter at home with me.

My mindset is cool, I don't want a break, I think you are just used to reading posts from me where I'm in a really bad place. That's not where I am right now.

Sometimes limitations exist, they just do, and we can either accept them or change them. I'm trying to accept them because it's really short term. I was trying to figure out whether there are things other than what's on my list that I'm overlooking. I just don't feel like sitting around until we get back to our normal routine when I can get out more. But I suppose I can accept it if I have to.

 

I can certainly understand all of these feelings, I've certainly moved slowly at some points because of similar feelings. You're doing great by the way, based on your posts.

At this point though, I'm not holding back on my progress out of fear, I'm just limited briefly because I'm home alone with my kiddo for now and not able to get out very much until I'm back to the normal routine. I'm actually in a point where I'm super motivated to do things but have some logistical limitations. It's just frustrating at this point.

 

I guess you're right, I suppose I just need to change my perspective. I just feel like I was starting to have a little fun and now I'm slowing down a little that's all.

And the journey is definitely not a straight line. (I couldn't resist the pun, haha)

---------- Post added 4th May 2016 at 06:46 AM ----------

Meetups are group get togethers, and in my case specifically, arranged by LGBT groups. They're casual but it's not usually expected that it's cool to bring kids. Some meetings specify that they are kid-friendly, but usually it's expected you don't bring along your kids. Anyway, they're all scheduled around the time I'd need to get her into bed, so it wouldn't work anyway.

It's ok. I think I might just simply go to the area in town more known to be a gay community and hang out in the cafes around there. Better than nothing.

---------- Post added 4th May 2016 at 06:49 AM ----------

I'm kind of bummed actually because I think with my new work schedule I may have less opportunity to go to the meetups. But I'm wondering if it just means I have to push harder to find LGBT social stuff. I'm motivated for that at this point, so that's ok. I did find a new social group by chance just before I left for my trip home, so that's something I will be keeping in mind for future meetups.

 

I guess it depends on where you live. I'm lucky where I live to have a great LGBT centre that hosts social groups, and there's also a group in my city through meetup.

Do you have an LGBT centre nearby? A university LGBT centre? Hsve you looked through meetup? You can even start your own group! I'm in the process of doing that right now.

 

Yeah, while I was away and starting to feel so much more open, I knew that these two weeks would feel a little like sitting on my hands, but I also knew that it would only be two weeks, so I'm trying to think of it that way.

To be ready for this I pushed myself the last few days at home to make sure I got out as much as possible, even though it meant packing a lot into just a short time. I didn't want to give up on my family time but I also certainly didn't want to give up on my time out being me.

---------- Post added 4th May 2016 at 01:30 PM ----------

haha

I was actually wondering if it might still be a good group to join, may even be s little like the later in life group here, because maybe those closeted lesbians are really hoping to get the courage to get out of the closet...

 

Um, so then...sign me up. :lol: