Any FTM out there that can give me some advice?

I have no idea. See a doctor. They might refer you to a psychologist.

 

Try talking to a gender therapist

 

It helped me to learn that you dont have to totally identify with one gender or the other. Its ok for your experience to change over time and for you to be somewhere in the middle. Sometimes I feel gender queer, sometimes I feel like a woman who sometimes likes packing, lol. You only have to be you, and im proud of you for working on figuring out what that means. ☺

 

I've been part of the mermaids online group for a couple years now and its been pretty helpful being able to get advice from kids in my position and specifically in the UK because they only accept 13-19 year olds living in the UK so you might want to check that out and get in touch with them if you want some ongoing support and advice from those your own age going through the same questioning stages. Here's the site if you want to check it out, it also has a lot of info on it that might be useful.

 

Seeing a gender therapist is probably the best way to go to help you figure it out. However, with you being 16, I realize access to something like that may be impossible for you depending on where you stand with your parents. With that being said, you should start simply by looking inward. Do some serious introspection. Search within yourself. Look back over your life.

Have you had experiences as a young child that did not mesh with your birth gender? When you hit puberty, did it totally confuse and frighten you because your body was doing things you felt it shouldn't? Questions like this are a good place to start.

However, I VERY much agree with Katchoo's post. You don't HAVE to be trans. You could just be somewhere in between. I myself thought I was trans in high school. I really REALLY wanted to be a boy. I HATED being a girl. I hated dresses, hated my long hair. In an act of rebellion against my parents who were trying to force me to be more girly, I chopped off all my hair one night. I even told people to start calling me Zack, because I couldn't stand my birth name.

But...believe it or not...I actually outgrew that phase. I realized later on that the reason I was so insane about being a boy was because my parents REFUSED to let me be who I truly was. I'm androgynous. I feel very much like I am both male and female. Depending on the day, I can feel like a girl. And the very next day, I am most certainly a boy. I LOVE when strangers on the street can't tell which gender I am. Because I fit snugly right in the middle.

My need to be a boy in high school was overcompensation in reaction to how cruel my parents were being and how enslaved and trapped they made me feel. But it took me years to figure that out. Figuring out your gender and where you fall on the sliding scale can take a long time. But the best advise I have for you is to just do tons and tons and tons of thinking and introspection. You need to figure out who you are. And that question of who you are is not easy and it can even change over time. There is no right or wrong answer.

 

First, If you are stuck on a transphobic/homophobic enviroment, keep it low for your own safety. That's rule number one : Keep safe. Even if your mom looks like your best friend, be sure to know first she can deal with you coming out. Same for the rest of your friends and family. Keep safe.

Second, Keep Calm and do whatever makes you feel better : Clothes, nicknames... Just feel free to experiment. Some changes might attract attention, be ready for that.

I agree with the suggestion of seeing a gender therapist. Be very careful with any therapist that never had any experience with trans patients, they can do more harm than good. Avoid any therapist that mocks you or tells you that 'you are too young to know'. A therapist is there to help you find your own answers, not to impose you her answers, pretending they are better.

Feel free to ask around, get involved with LGBT folks. It can help to deal with pressure, and also you won't feel like an 'alien'.

Never blame yourself for being who you are. There are worse things out there : People who steal, cheat and murder and get away with it. As long as you don't harm anyone, you have a right to be who you are and express yourself.

As someone said 'Life goes on', so keep busy and try to do your best. It might be a new chance for you, so don't let it go. Follow the river wherever it takes you.