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Telling my 2 best friends....oh ya and they mega homophobic

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Domo2016, May 7, 2016.

  1. Domo2016

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    Hey guys!

    Ok I'm out to most people in my life now who are important to me. The only 2 people i've yet to tell are my 2 best mates. I feel more confident than ever since coming out and feel my courage is at an all time high but I still feel uneasy telling these 2 guys.

    One (who I suspect may be gay) is so anti gay. He often says the most outragious things about gay folk and thinks Donald Trump and Putin are 'real men'. He very political and opinionated and can be very overpowering at times. Oddly enough he never had a serious girlfriend and I have my suspicions about him.

    The other guy is such a cool guy and is normally very laid back. His dad is very homophobic and I see where he gets his opinions from. I imagine if I tell him he will be speechless and won't know how to handle hearing the news. He really looks up to his dad and I think he would be embarrased to tell his family about me. His dad told him when he met his latest girl friend "thank god its not a guy u brought home anyhow".

    Im perhaps overthinking all of this. Its literally the final and perhaps toughest step for me to being fully out. Any thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated.
     
  2. yuanzi

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    My attitude has always been if you are not supportive then I don't need you in my life. I do make an exception for close family members but never for friends no matter how close they are/have been to me. (I value friendship very much btw)

    However, if your friends have very negative reactions, they probably still deserve a grace period of a few months maybe? (I don't know your dynamics) They might come around if they truly value the friendship. They might not even be that homophobic since sometimes people do not mean what they say. But if they don't come around, you probably don't need them anyway.

    In my case, I had a friend who was initially totally creeped out after I came out to her but came around after a month or so. I am definitely glad I took her back :slight_smile:
     
  3. FalconBlueSky00

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    Good luck, I would be nervous too. Your very brave.
     
  4. Robert

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    If I were you, and I wanted to come out to them, I would just send them a text and then wait for a response before I see them again.
     
  5. Domo2016

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    Thanks for your replies guys!

    I was thinking of sending them both a whatsapp message so I could state myself better. I want them to know how I had been feeling all this time and just fear that face to face would be uncomfortable situation for all involved!

    What do you think?
     
  6. HereWeGo

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    Telling a friend that your gay can be really scary. But I think sharing such big news via a text or other digital media is a disservice to everyone. There is no way to have a dialogue or truly judge the other person's reaction without seeing eye to eye. And if that person doesn't respond right away, you're going to go crazy waiting for a response.

    I don't know. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I know if my best friend came out to me, I'd want to hear it in person.
     
  7. Domo2016

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    I hear ya. I guess the way I see it is neither of them have ever given me an easy ride either and I feel I owe them nothing. I've already come out to 3 people via text including a sister. I just feel it gives me a chance to properly express myself. If it was anyone else it would be easier but these 2 are a bit of work....