This is more like a 'I want to get it out' than 'please help me' post, although any thoughts/opinions would be highly appreciated! Also it's probably gonna be very long... I have never been in a relationship. It never bothered me much before college because my family was very against me finding a boyfriend at that age and I was/am not that into guys anyway. After junior year however, it started to bother me more and more when I gradually realized my sexuality (bi but leaning towards females) and when my family started to pressure me into getting into a relationship/marriage. I have wondered for years why I am forever single and whether I am doing something seriously wrong. There are of course obvious reasons: 1) given my sexual preference my dating pool is much smaller; 2) I am very dedicated to my professional work and simply do not have the time to go on many random dates or endless bar hoppings; 3) right now I am in a college town and the whole setting is not oriented towards people my age (it is very liberal though). I am not willing to compromise my sexuality or my professional work (I can maybe move to a bigger city later on in my life) so I have to work on stuff within my control. But I honestly don't see anything I am doing or not doing that's significantly different from all my happily coupled friends. I have good communication skills (I think) and I never ever hide my feelings. To those I care about, I always try my best to show them (in my silly little ways) that I'd make a worthy friend. I am also working to be more social in general and it is slowly getting there. All these have really helped me in the friendship compartment but not so much in relationship. In my darkest days, I'd throw myself a pity-party in my head and entertain the thought that 'I am too ugly to be loved'. However, in reality, I am about average looking and I exercise regularly so there is not much else I can do to improve my physical appearance. I honestly don't know where I am going at in this post. I think there are probably 2 things I should do at this point: 1) stay social and connect as much as I can with the lgbt community; 2) accept the fact that I will likely be single for the foreseeable future and not beat myself up for it. Thanks for reading! Also I consider myself very lucky in many other aspects of life so no need for pity parties
Hey OP, I feel your post really came from the heart and I totally understand how your feeling despite me being male. Our stories are not unlike each others and sometimes it's nice to know your not alone in your situation. You say your dedicated to your professional life, and that's a great quality and your passion for your work could be seen as an attractive quality. Can I ask, have you put your self out there much in terms of dating? I'm just recently out myself and for me it's a totally new world and I guess it's all about confidence building really. I'm slowly building connections in the lgbt community. Like yourself I'm very busy with work but I've managed to find a healthy balance between work and my personal life. At 28 your still very young. The fact that you live in a college town actually sounds like a plus really! Anyhow you sound like a catch so if you do decide to become more social within lgbt community I've no doubt you would meet someone on your wave length. It's pretty diverse! All the best
Gary2015, thanks for the reply! I guess I have somewhat put myself out there? I have never met anyone from the lgbt community in my real life naturally (i.e. classmates, friends of friends, etc) so it's either from online posting/dating or lgbt social events. I tried 5+ dating sites without any success (again probably due to my location) and have kind of given up on there. There is no gay bar in my city. I started going to the graduate student lgbt socials a while ago at my university. People were friendly and nerdy just like me. I have not really established any solid friendship though since it is a monthly thing and I don't run into those people afterwards (and the vast majority of them are guys lol). Good things are never easy right... Anyway all the best with your work and personal life too! Btw living in a collegetown is not fun once you are over 21. I seriously feel a generation gap between me and most other kids. Wait technically there is a generation between me and the 18-year-olds. Oops!:roflmao:
