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Fortune cookie

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by SiennaFire, May 14, 2016.

  1. SiennaFire

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    I went out to dinner tonight and this was my fortune. This seems like great advice for people who are starting their journey of discovery and need to start taking baby steps.
    If this resonates, please share your story.
     
    #1 SiennaFire, May 14, 2016
    Last edited: May 14, 2016
  2. TravelerMe

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    At first I didn't realize I was taking any steps at all and after decades of staying firmly in my shell I looked outside of myself finally.

    After years of window shopping I guess it started with flirting online. But, I found myself trying to guide those chats into meaningful dialogue and opening up about my situation. Believe it or not I found some wonderful guys that showed real caring and understanding.

    At the risk of being judged here I eventually stepped out and found a few hookups. I'm not saying that's for everyone but for me it was meaningful and almost essential. SF you've talked about how different that experience is and wow was it ever. Moreover, I established some deep bonds with a couple guys and stirred feelings and emotions I had not felt for many years. I've stayed connected to these men and they are still an important part of my journey.

    But of course that isn't enough; for me a double life is no life at all.

    The next step was searching for more meaning and shared experience. So I found EC and after many weeks of reading I joined and began posting and sharing. Learning and helping others; leading and being led has been very positive. I'm slowly unlearning and eliminating shame; fear; and ignorance.

    Other small steps included coming out to myself out loud over and over; hanging out having a drink and making small talk in a gay bar and just soak in the atmosphere.

    Acceptance and a confidence about my sexuality grows more and more each day.

    The next step I took was coming out to a close straight friend; then another close gay friend. The acceptance and ability to have a normal conversation as the authentic me with someone face to face puts me at ease like nothing else has before and builds a personal support structure. Opening up like this allowed me to do something I could never ever do; seeing a therapist and joining a gay married support group. I no longer fear such events but can't wait for the next one!

    The structure that is my life has been built on top of an incomplete foundation over decades and small steps of repair and rebuilding take time so as to prevent a collapse. Sometimes that means taking a step backwards. But as long as that's followed two steps forward I feel I'm gaining ground and rebuilding piece by piece.
     
  3. PrettyinPunk

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    I think it resonates with me on many levels. Maybe not so much my sexual orientation but in my life in general. Every step you take, no matter the size, is a step forward. If it's successful and great, you feel it. It can bolster happiness and self confidence. If it ends up being a setback or mistake, you can learn from it and gain experience. In most cases I feel taking that next step is better than staying still and stagnant.
     
  4. baristajedi

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    Thanks for posting this. I definitely take minuscule little baby steps. But they're finally starting to feel like they're adding up to bigger steps. This is truly an important thing to do on your journey, keep moving forward, no matter how small the steps feel, they add up.
     
  5. OnTheHighway

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    :eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap