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Bisexual Confusion

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Tomás1, May 21, 2016.

  1. Tomás1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2016
    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
    74
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First, sorry about the title... however even tho I'm an out & proud bisexual, my bisexuality has been the source of alot of confusion in my life - basically, do I want to be with a woman or a man. Unfortunately, when I look at the consequences of my bisexuality ... having lost many women who can't handle my bisexuality, many gay men who ultimately want to be w another guy ... being a youthful 68, single, divorced from a woman, and no longer with my long term lover Ed, my intuition is that my being single is a consequence of my bisexuality.

    I find that women are more interested in a relationship, and men are more interested in sex. I've done alot of psychological work, therapy, meditation, lived in SF for 5 yrs as a gay man. The longing for sex is only fulfilled temporarily. Inner peace may occur only by giving the longing up, and being happy with what is,

    I left SF and started dating women, because I like women, and I'm much more comfortable in a mixed setting than exclusively gay men. With a high libido, I usually date women I'm sexually attracted to. Being a top, alot of my sexuality with men has been being serviced. Most men are not interested in anything more than nsa - intimacy is more of a woman's thing... tho I'm sure there are exceptions.

    Has my history condemned me to unfulfilling process? My first partner was my older sister. When I was in college, I had a 35 yo lover who I was close to, and gave me awesome blow jobs. As my sexual longings were fullfilled w so little effort, is it any wonder I still go down that pathway?

    I vacillate between hookups and shame, giving them up for a few weeks and then finding myself back on a hookup app or website. I welcome any feedback & reflection!
     
  2. Weston

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Seattle
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Maybe look for a Friend with Benefits?