So I came out to the first person in my life that wasn't a therapist today. She's a family friend who lives out of state. And she was super supportive I couldn't have asked for a better friend to come out to. She helped me walk through some of the struggles that I'm facing seeing how she knows my family and my wife. But I must say it is a little relieving to finally have someone to talk to outside of a therapist. And I have decided that I'm going to come out to my wife soon. I've actually set a date June 11th. But not only do I have to come out to her I need to come out to my dad and mom around the same time due to our families being so close word is going to spread like wildfire and I feel my parents deserve to hear it from my mouth vs through the grapevine. I've been super nervous since I set a date and I've been an emotional wreck. All which my therapist says is normal. But it's been very overwhelming at times. I just feel I can't live this lie anymore it's consuming my life and making me miserable. And I need to at least attempt to be happy. And that means I have to blow up my life essentially speaking. But I can't live in the closet anymore I'm going to die if I stay in there. All I can say is wish me luck it's going to be a bumpy road in a few weeks.
It's good that you set a deadline, in my opinion. That worked for me (although it came right down to the wire!) I would guess that you and your wife will have a lot to talk about in the first few hours; perhaps you and she can agree to tell both sets of parents separately at the same time, soon afterward. I think you'll find it much easier telling your parents after you've told your wife. Congratulations on making a decision to move forward. It really does get better.
That's a big step you took! Congratulations. Sounds like you have a great plan in place. If it felt good coming out to your friend, you'll be amazed what coming out to your wife is like. That feeling that you're dying will no longer be a part of you. It's hard to imagine life without that burden until you experience it... Sort of like someone stepping on your foot your entire life. You get used to it and never notice the weight... But once that pressure is removed there's the euphoric moment of "wow, life is so much better without that pain." Good luck with your preparations.
Hey Bluesteel Best of luck. Coming out bi to my wife was the hardest thing I have ever done. I set a deadline and had two hours left before I could do it. I wish I had done it sooner. Take care. Lean on this forum there are a lot here who know how you feel.
Awesome news! Cheering for you here. Can't wait to see it goes; you're an inspiration. I plan on setting a similar date soon. Good Luck!
Good luck, bluesteel! I am going through some of the same events right now. It is a chunky blend of stress, anxiety, relief, exhilaration, worry, and elation. With a side order of WTF and OMG. But in a good way. Mostly. The worst part is immediately before coming out. I haven't had a bad experience afterwards yet, but I'm sure I will at some point. The weight being lifted, and feeling the support and warmth of those who are in your corner, are awesome, life-changing feelings. You can do this, I wish you luck and strength. (*hug*)
Wow... thank you everyone for the awesome love and support, you have no idea how much it means to me. I've been at some of the lowest points of my life in the past few months, and I couldn't have gotten to this point in my life if it wasn't for all of the awesome people on EC. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, to which I know everyone on here can relate. It's just wonderful to know you have have my back. I'll keep everyone posted when I go through that door and the aftermath of the the other side.
When you sit down for the talk imagine all of us here, you're virtual back up, standing right behind you with our hands on your shoulder.
