Many colours in the homo rainbow, a warm embrace and a kind hello... :)

I'm in a particularly good mood today. And I'm starting my commute off with Homo Rainbow by Wean, yasss I love this song!

Yesterday my husband and I talked over rules for open marriage. He's getting more comfortable with the idea. And we're on the verge of sealing it. We're talking again in a couple more days. He's got some things he wants to explore too... I'm excited for both of us I think it will be kind of hot to share our mutual exploration and talk about what we're learning about ourselves.

I feel successful as a mom today too. We've been struggling a little with our routine, and even though my little monkey slept way in today, mama got her out of the door only 15 min later than I would have liked. And we had fun (per usual) on our walk. Racing all the way there. I love my little sweetie!!!!

I'm wearing a flannel to work today (it's a casual office). I feel like I look particularly gay today. I love it.

Share the things that have made you happy lately! Or share whatever you want, I love you guys, I want to hear it all!

 

:icon_bigg. Thanks OTH!! I'll be updating for sure!!!

I'm really hoping my husband truly gets something out of this too, I want to grow together. Being able to share with him my happy feelings about being queer and exploring with women will make me feel really good too. He's my best friend after all and this is a huge part of my life.

 

Yes it is an enormous accomplishment Snowshoe!!! And one you fought long and hard for. You should be proud!!!

 

Thanks COS!

Yeah, so in the last 2-3 months my husband has started revealing some interesting things about feeling a little bi. It's not like me, I think it's more like Kinsey 2 or 2.5 (he actually used the Kinsey scale to describe it!)

There are a couple of men from his past that he developed a ronantic sort of bond with. This is not a bromance, it was to my eyes a true emotional romantic intimacy. I suspected with one of our mutual friends a couple of years ago. And I also met one of the guys from his past, and have heard him talk on Skype with another. when he was in love (his words) with the guy I knew, O, it was like a painful and sweet kind of thing. He *needed* to be with him, he was very emotionally charged by everything between them.

My feelings about it are... Well it makes me extremely happy. I feel like it can only make our situation more positive, no matter where our path leads us.

Ultimately, my decisions about what I need in the end are not dictated by this. My needs in terms of women are something I need to consider as my experiences unfold, so it doesn't change my decision process or my view of my own needs. I'm letting my exploration help me learn what my ultimate needs are.

But there are a million reasons for this being positive -

First, if I'm exploring and growing, I want him to be too. It seems unbalanced otherwise.

Second, I like thinking I have a confidante in my journey, and in some way he might understand me as a queer person and that feels really good.

Third, I kind of find it hot for some reason, and honestly I have no idea why, but there it is, that's just my feelings.

So, I'm just looking forward to this stage of the journey I really can't wait to go on a date. And another. And another

I want to be really open to being vulnerable and letting my feelings just happen. And I really can't wait for that.

 

Thanks TinyOwl!!

---------- Post added 26th May 2016 at 04:19 PM ----------

Well - so far, he wants to only stick to meeting people who are also in open relationships. This was my instinct too, so I'm cool with that. We're working on discussing safe sex and how to manage that. He is *very* nervous about that. We've been talking about frequency of seeing other people (with our schedules, and parenting commitments, 1/wk or 1/2wks is what we both think is manageable). We talked about honesty, and transparency as well.

I think there's more, but I'll have to try to remember. Now I'm realising we need to write these all down!

---------- Post added 26th May 2016 at 04:21 PM ----------

Another thing I should mention is that yesterday we were talking mostly about his rules, I think tomorrow I'm supposed to lay down some of my own rules... so I need to think a little about that.

---------- Post added 26th May 2016 at 04:24 PM ----------

Thanks!! Take your time and figure it out as you go along That's half the fun, learning about yourself and your needs.

---------- Post added 26th May 2016 at 04:27 PM ----------

This is really helpful insight. I kind of had that in the back of my mind as we were discussing this yesterday. I think that is a good thing to keep in mind, to keep this as an open conversation.

---------- Post added 26th May 2016 at 04:30 PM ----------

Nick - I don't know what it is, there's something about bisexual men who I am involved with that really turns me on. It has started to extend to really enjoying watching those dynamics play out in movies, shows, etc. I'm really into it :icon_bigg

I agree - life is meant to be fun!! I feel like I'm in a particularly positive place right now to really enjoy life in a new way too. And it seems you are too! I'm happy for you!!

 

Hi butterfly (*hug*) I'm sorry your struggling. Are you trying to open up your marriage? I'm sorry I don't know your back story. Why does it feel hopeless right now? If you share maybe we can help you think things through.

 

Am I understanding correctly that you're thinking of leaving your husband? Do you have any family who might help you get on your feet while you're looking for work, so that you can leave before you find a job? Can you take a low-paying job for a bit while you look for work? And is it completely off the table to talk to your husband about opening the marriage? I wonder if you bring it up in small doses that he might be willing to think it over?

Big hugs, hun. I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. (*hug*)

In the meantime, I wonder if building a strong lgbt support system could give you a feeling of being in touch with your identity and making good friends at the same time. That makes a world of difference sometimes.