(I don't know if this is the right forum, but here goes!) How do you respond when faced with homophobia? Personally, I try to physically leave the situation and get away from people. At the very least, I try to find a place by myself, like my home. I know that my house doesn't care that I'm gay, and my dog sure doesn't care that I'm gay either. On a bigger level, though, I try to leave town and go spend some time in nature when I can. Trees and mountains are pretty, and, more importantly, they don't care that I'm gay. Wildlife doesn't care that I'm gay. Rocks and dirt don't care that I'm gay. But people (not all people, of course, but the fact remains, people) are the only entities that care that I'm gay. So I try to get away from them when I feel like I need to.
Gardening seems to help me with all kinds of stress. I like pulling weeds, I feel like I'm totally in control pulling weeds. And it gives me space away from everything to sort through my thoughts and get away for awhile.
...I usually end up venting here, so half of my posts probably make it seem like I'm always a major grump. Sometimes when I'm in the mood I'll draw or listen to some nice music, maybe build or design some things. I don't handle it too well though and usually end up moody for the next few hours, I try not to show it.
I kind of embrace it on the off-chance it happens to me. I don't think these people know that I'm gay but just because of my long hair and skinny jeans people yell "FAGGOT!" out their car windows at me sometimes. I usually hit them with a thumbs up or a "Yeah, I know" I'd barely call that homophobia though, like, people get beat up and shit for being gay; that's pretty shitty. If you're dealing with anything like that, don't embrace it, but if all you have to deal with is a passing comment, try taking it differently if you can Edit just to say I know that it's not that easy for other people, but if you're happy being gay then acting like it doesn't bother you might get the person to stop if they don't think you care.
Honestly I'm still in shock when I hear or see homophobic behavior/remarks in real life. If its an ignorant but not attacking kind of statement I might speak up or just ignore it. If someone is purposefully being cruel and or aggressive, that's different. I get heated quickly and either they shut up, leave, or I make them leave. Besides that, just staying positive because I know homophobia will one day be a thing of the past. Love is more powerful than hate and fear after all.
Seeing as homophobia/biphobia makes me angry rather than upset, I tend to combat it in less desirable ways. Not that I immediately go on full-defensive. I stay rational and I try to answer their points, but it's like - you can tell when I'm getting angry. "Small-minded bigot" is a phrase that I enjoy.
It's been a long time since I've gotten homophobic slurs hurled at me. For whatever reason the way I presented myself in my early 20s spurred hostility every now and then. But even though I dress pretty gay now (and I actually do finally identify as queer), I don't get the same reaction. But, for me, writing has always been an escape for this. It's the way I process and also the way I escape.
Now that I think of it, I haven't heard a slur or other derogatory description in a long time, which is a really good thing. I think the biggest challenge that I've had is what I'll call "aggressive heteronormativity." It's more frustrating than anything, I guess, when people are really, really pointed about heterosexuality being normal and homosexuality being something abnormal. But even that has died down in the past 5 or 10 years, which, again, is a really good thing. It's almost like many straights have started getting it out of their systems. I also still don't like hearing straights use gay references to put each other down. That stings a little. Anyway, in short, I guess things aren't as bad for me as I was thinking they were...
