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So right in the middle of posting a craigslist ad, my phone shut off

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by caliwoman, Jun 2, 2016.

  1. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    The ad was for a romantic encounter w/a woman; is this the universe's way of telling me, nope, not that avenue or nope, not at all. LOL.

    I mean, it had like 3% charge and I was almost done writing the ad. Grrrrr!!

    This is really frustrating to me. I still feel like I need to experiment w/a woman to confirm that it's what I want and that I'm bisexual. The lingering what if really bothers me.

    My husband and I tried to have sex last night and that didn't go well. It felt...wrong. Like a stranger touching me. He won't let me experiment, so I feel stuck in a rut.

    As time goes on, I feel myself being drawn to women, more, physically. That wasn't like me. We were watching Game of Thrones repeats and there's an occasional nude scene in there and one of the women literally took my breath away. It was a sex scene between two women and I kinda moaned and had to turn away from watching it. It kinda overtook me. I'm not sure if my husband noticed or not.

    Anyone else care to share about their sexual frustrations? Geez, share anything? LOL. I'd love to hear your stories so I can vicariously live through you, haha. This desire for a woman feels like a primal urge! :bang:
     
    #1 caliwoman, Jun 2, 2016
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  2. baristajedi

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    It's not a sign! I'll tell you what I think it is - it's a reminder just how much you want this! Keep trying, the more you try and the more you put yourself out there the more relaxed you'll feel.

    My sexual frustrations: I want to make sweet love to every one of my female coworkers. I'm also working slowly through the details about open marriage with my husband. It's not his fault that it's happening slowly, it's just the logistics of having only a small window at the end of the day to talk. I can't wait to go on a date. Will I be so horny by then that I will make her run screaming?? I doubt there will be casual sex on a first date anyway, but if she kisses me...oh lawd I will probably just say "take me!"
     
  3. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    LOL Barista, your post made me smile!! Thank you. I needed that. In this "open marriage" that you are discussing with your husband, what does that look like? Is he allowed to have a "side chick" too, lol?? I'm really curious as to what that entails. I'm married too, but so far, my hubby ain't having it.
     
    #3 caliwoman, Jun 2, 2016
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  4. baristajedi

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    :kiss: glad I could make you smile!

    In terms of opening up our marriage, yes my husband will be able to date too. We've laid down some rules regarding a lot of things, like how frequently we can see other people, safe sex, openness and honesty. I have no idea what it will be like when we actually start seeing people!

    I never thought my husband would be open to this either. You might be surprised, yours might consider it after some thought. Have you directly brought this up with him?
     
    #4 baristajedi, Jun 2, 2016
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  5. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    I did. And we talked about it today.

    No sex with a woman allowed.
    No talking to women, as more than friends, allowed.
    He was pissed when I said I'm going to masturbate to girl-on-girl porn.

    I feel absolutely handcuffed. Have you solidified your plans on your open marriage?

    And what sucks is I "met" a woman online who is pretty, literate, and sane. She's married, too and not telling her husband about her desire to experiment with women. I don't think my husband is going to budge on his decision. I can cheat on him or leave him. Those are my options. I've never been with a woman, so I feel like I'm jumping off of a cliff and into the unknown.
     
    #5 caliwoman, Jun 4, 2016
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  6. baristajedi

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    It took me about 7 months to get to this point with my husband, and I really didn't think it was possible for him to be open to this.

    of course, I don't know your husband, but it may be possible that he will warm up to the idea over time. Try putting the idea to rest for a little while and talk to him a bit about your feelings overall, your feeling trapped, your needs and desires.

    How long has he known about your feelings?