To tell the woman I fell in love with, exactly how I felt...

Cali,
My trigger crush was my life long best friend. I came out to him after he met me at his place as full on Danielle. We talked for over 4 hours. He is a psychologist so he was very accepting..happily a lot more than I thought he would be. It didn't bring closure in this case, it opened a new door for me, a real person in my life who knows me inside and out and is very supportive

 

Yes, I did actually tell my trigger crush what I felt. She's now my girlfriend. But I almost didn't, I was so afraid of saying anything. So when she came into my store a second time I knew I had to say something, anything, I had never felt such a strong attraction to anyone like I did with her.

I was lucky that there was a spark between us, because when she came back a third time she gave me her number. The fifth time she came in she asked me to be her girlfriend.

I swooned, then it was the kiss that would permanently change my orientation.

It was like liquid fire, and fireworks, and everything I had heard from everyone else, but had never experienced.

I hope that I have at least a year and a half with her...

Hope this helps. (*hug*)

 

Always so jealous of stories like Rachyl -- which are few and far between.

I told my trigger crush how I felt in a letter. It didn't go well, for me. I had special circumstances, because my trigger crush was highly manipulative and playing games with me. If I remember correctly, yours has been a little obnoxious with flirting and talking, as well (if I'm wrong, forget that). Are you also married?

I think if you want to tell your crush how you felt/feel, you need to think hard about why you're wanting to do it. Is it truly for closure? Is it for hope that something will come out of it/they'll reciprocate those feelings? I went into it wrong. I was almost certain she was going to say she felt the same, or something close - but she said she didn't. That crushed me, and our whatevership slowly faded out. I couldn't take speaking to her, and she probably felt awkward speaking to me because I was clearly slightly infuriated with her/still wanted her. If it's truly for closure, and to lock up this part of your life and move on, then do it. I would say go into it expecting nothing in return.

 

Rachel what a lovely story
Somewhat jealous I admit :icon_wink

 

Hi Cali

I didn't tell my crush how I felt (not exactly a trigger crush as I already knew I liked women but enough to make me question everything) but I am married, she is in a long term relationship and we work together. I think it may have just made things super awkward.

If I didn't work with her I think I probably would have told her. Although she started flirting with me and I'm sure she did like me, I think she is happy with her gf, so I'm pretty sure my feelings aren't reciprocated.

Did you consider telling you at the time? How will you feel if she doesn't respond? Is she also in a relationship and is she 'out' at all? I'm sure it would feel good to get it off your chest and have it out in the open but it may not provide the closure you are looking for.

Good luck whatever you decide

 

What were you thinking? You were thinking that you were dealing with an adult who was equally open and honest as you were but what you got was someone who wasn't able to synthesize this new information with what she knew about you previously and simply shutdown. No mature discourse and no compassionate response. Just hiding away so as not to face you.

Don't feel awful. She's the one who should feel awful and someday she may but today, she didn't rise to the occasion. How many times in someone's life do you get anyone admitting such intense feelings for you? Even if she was never going to reciprocate the feelings, she didn't handle this at all well.

You put yourself out there and it didn't pan out but you win just for trying.

[This made me think of the tv show Banana, episode two. Have you seen it?]

 

It's okay Calli, she doesn't deserve you anyway. I'm proud of though for having the guts to tell her. So proud.

 

You've done something not many people can bring themselves to do. No huddling required. You're the strong one. Please stand up and assume the Wonder Woman pose.

(A pose scientifically proven to make you feel better.)

 

I'm almost shaking my head and laughing. ALMOST. Don't take that offensively. I just can't believe it (usually) always goes down like this. Do these people have a members only club they belong to where they discuss game plans to do this? It's like a, Team Bring the Gay Out, force.

First, this person is incredibly immature. Second, I wouldn't be surprised if they've got issues. My trigger didn't outright ignore me, but surprised rejection was almost just as bad. Either way, I can (now) only read this as a severe disconnect between cause and effect in the brain of a person like this; someone who acts interest and knows you're dipping into the romantic pool, even if you don't outright say it, but acts completely caught off guard when they're confronted with the feelings they helped to produce.

In this case, please believe it is not you, it's her. I promise, if this is how she is, you most likely dodged a bullet. If there's one thing that's great about people who act like this (severely emotionally constipated in the abnormal sense) when you call out what's going on, if they're insane and don't really care about you, but just love to provoke emotions for fun and for waste, they will scatter like cockroaches in the daylight when you bring it up. I know you're upset and you think you're the crazy one, but believe me, she's the crazy one.

It will take some time to come back from this, but you've got us here. I've truly, truly been there with this type of thing. So if you ever want to chat on my wall about it to vent, add me!

Feel better!

 

I was lucky, my trigger turned out to not be a person I'd ever date, so I don't really like him anymore. We're buddies and I don't want it to go beyond that, cause he's kinda an asshole.

And Cali, I've grown quite fond of you as a member here, anything I can do to help(or just lift your spirits) just ask.

 

I don't like you THAT much...unless you don't mind my sloppy seconds, cause let's be real, if I knew JLaw.....:lol:

 

Hi Cali,
I'm so sorry I haven't been here to help and so sorry for what she's done to you. Please let me say that SHE is the one who's truly lost. YOU are an amazing woman who poured her heart out and then got left empty...there should be some kind of law against heartbreak, heaven knows I've seen my fair share. I hope you can now move on to bigger and better things. My closure is still so wishy washy and I still don't know how it's all going end up with her but I'm still not letting go...I'm holding it together. I hope you feel better love, here if you wanna chat. All the best