Am I Too Young To Know?

I didn't figure it out until I was 25, but that's neither here nor there. You know what you feel, and if a label helps you process through your feelings, then please feel empowered to pick one that fits (I'm sure you've read all about it already, but if not, there are way more ways to describe sexuality out there than simply gay/lesbian).

Like, you might be asexual homoromantic, or maybe something else (not to tell you what I think you are, just maybe expanding the range of terms you have, if you haven't encountered them before). I'm just saying, don't let a label box you in; labels are just tools that you can use to understand yourself and communicate your feelings to others if you find them useful.

 

Sexuality is complex, some people know from the time they're little, and always know, some of us hide from our sexuality and only acknowledge it later, and sometime sexuality is fluid and changes over the years.

The great news is that you are young, and you have all the time in the world to learn about you. Just follow your gut, and take each experience one at a time. If you like a girl, go for it, see where that leads your heart. Same with a boy, and so on and so on.

Oh and another great thing - you can be gay and have a family, the picket fence, etc. I see FB updates from my gay friends living in the burbs, doing all the typical mid-thirties stuff my straight friends are doing.

 

I would say don't be so eager to hang a label on yourself. Experience what you want, get to know yourself a bit better, and allow for change. I pegged myself as straight since I was a kid. It was only at the tender (ha!) age of 52 that I realized a few things:

1. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't go hand in hand.
2. I can be attracted to and love someone of the same gender as me.
3. Gender doesn't matter as much as connection. I don't fall in love with someone's biology, I fall in love with someone.

Those realizations kind of came in sequence, which is why I put them in the order I did. When I have to put a label on myself, I call myself gender fluid panromantic/pansexual. There are times when I feel very feminine, and times when I feel very masculine. I indulge those feminine times as much as I can (I am male-bodied), within what are my social boundaries.

The key thing I'm trying (badly) to say is, people change. The key is always accept yourself for who you are, not for what labels people place on you, or you think fit you. Today, you find girls sexy and attractive; tomorrow, or next year, or next decade, you might not find anyone attractive for a while. Be who you are and accept who you are. That doesn't guarantee happiness in life, but it's a great start.

Hugs and good luck! This place is great to bounce ideas off of, and I, for one, will never be offended if you tell me, "Morgana, honey, you're full of balogna." (It's not true, I never eat balogna, can't stand the stuff!)

Morgana the anti-balogna

 

I knew I was different from the as of 12-13 years old. I thought it was a phase, that all us girls go through it. I even dated a boy when I was 17 just to prove to myself that I was right about this so called phase I was going through. But, after 2 weeks I just felt uncomfortable, I felt I was being fake to myself and him.

I began working with mostly females. These feelings where stronger and I was so confused. I tried to tell my mum that I thought I was bi. She turned round to me and said that I was being stupid and its just a phase. There was a lesbian working with me and we bonded so well as friends. I could see she was happy being herself, with a child and a girlfriend. The other people at work accepted her and she was happy. After talking to her about it one evening, I decided to come out to her. Oh the weight that was partly lifted off my shoulders. The people at work found out and they gave me so much support and didn't treat me any differently.

I had my first relationship when I was 22 with an older female of 41. She was my first every experience of a so called proper relationship as well as I lost my virginity to her. I was struggling as when I would be at home with my parents I would have to pretend to be the sweet and innocent straight girl. I couldn't hack it anymore. I spoke to my mum again and told her out straight. I was a lesbian, I'm attracted to women. if you cant accept it and want nothing to do with me then that's fine. It took her back a bit with shock. But, she could see I was being serious. I couldn't tell me dad at this point as he wasn't mentally stable and if I told him about me, it may have thrown him to the edge. SO, I waited about a year to tell him. He didn't take it that well. He couldn't look at me for 2 weeks. I had spoken to his sister before hand as I didn't know how he would take it and I needed another person to confined to. My aunt asked me how long I had known about me being gay, I told her the whole story as well as how difficult it was trying to deal with it and not talking to anyone for so many years. To this day, my aunt has said and still does say to me that how proud of me she is as I had to fight in the inner demons by myself.

But now, 4 later, all my family and friends know. I'm open and honest with them all. They have been there for me through heartbreaks, the hears and the being played.

Now... Ive moved out of my parents house in with my partner who I love and adore. People cant seem to understand our relationship as I am a Lesbian and my partner is Transgender Female and who is also 26 years older than me. I met her has a female, ive only know her as a female. To me in my eyes she is female.

 

I didn't accept my sexuality fully myself until at least 24. But looking back I knew from my early teens really. I think if you have been able to accept your attraction to women now, that's fantastic. I feel I would have saved myself a lot of soul searching, questioning and guilt later on had I really given it some thought earlier

 

You are definitely not too young to know, contrary to what many parents say. But, like others have said, you will benefit from not holding too tightly to any one label. Lots of people come out more than once with different labels as they get to know themselves better and have new experiences. Historically, some people have been critical of that even though it's a super common LGBTetc experience. It's probably a good idea to give yourself pemission on the front end to do that, to realize that your experiences and labels may evolve over time. It's one of the many reasons that coming out is a process, not an event.

 

(*hug*)

 

I've known for a few years and I'm 3 years younger than you

 

Love is love

 

Your not to young know who you are. I think it hits us at different ages depending on who we are. Everyone feels experiences at different ages. 3 to 4 I knew boys and girls were equally attractive. The first time I had sex was same sex. It felt very natural. I guess for me the mind and person have been my attraction. I love that feeling and what is between the legs doesn't matter.

 

I was "experimenting" with my bff in high school while dating my (now) husband. If I only would have hung on to knowing I was bi, a lot of what happened in the last couple of years wouldn't have happened. I was way too quick to jump (happily) into a straight (seeming) relationship and bury my desires. Trying to rectify all of that has been difficult... if you know who you are, don't lose it!