I am considering cancelling my plans to go to Pride

So... You'll know one of the people in the brunch group but not the others, right? What if it's one of them that turns out to be that quirky someone who wants to be your friend? You won't know unless you go.

As for transit, can you message the meetup group and find out how they're getting there? I'll bet lots of people will be taking transit so they don't have to worry about parking. Just ask if anyone knows which buses are still going to your destination.

I think you need to let go of your expectations. What's the worse that could happen? Truthfully. Even if you think you've had a bad time, you can't deny the good parts you might have. Having the best croissant you've ever eaten, hearing a new joke, meeting six new women, seeing the parade, buying a cute ring.

You need to let go of the idea that it's going to be a bad time even before you've gone. Even if the initial bus ride goes awry and all you can do is turn around and go home, you're no worse off than before. No matter what happens, you'll be no worse off than before.

Give life a chance. It might surprise you.

 

I think you should go. I think you will regret it more if you don't. Pride doesn't happen every week.

The videogame will be waiting when you return! I'm playing Dragon's Dogma right now, BTW.

Seriously, go! Be you, have fun, who knows what will happen.

 

You should definitely go. You have nothing to lose by going.

 

From an old America song:

"Don't give up until you
drink from the silver cup,
You'll never know until you try"

 

I sooo understand the secret hopefulness and then disappointment. I think you should go though. Focus on enjoying the festivities and don't put expectations on more than that.

When it comes to making friends, my experience has been that you have to really push yourself and go to as many things as possible. A lot of the time you won't meet anyone, but if you go out enough then eventually you start making connections. If you stay at home, you're 100% guaranteed to not meet anyone.

Best of luck and happy Pride to you!

 

It's so sad that you decided not to go. I want to go to Pride so bad, but there isn't one here. The closest is Chicago, which is a 3 hour drive. I am highly considering going, though.

 

I'm sad you didn't get to go to pride. I live within driving distance to Los Angeles and I really wanted to go to but because I'm not out to my wife it would impossible for me to sneak around her. Plus like you I would be alone and kinda awkward for me to socialize with the community seeing how I've never done it in public before. But oh well there's always next year.

 

I'm still going to go next week. One day with my wife and one day by myself. It is a small town, so I am sure I will be seen by people I know. I may even help with one of the activities. I am terrified of this because I have decided I will not lie again. So, if a friend asks, I will out myself. This town is super liberal, so I expect to see a lot of straight people too...especially after the events of this weekend.

But, more than ever, I think I must go now. I need to make some sort of stand...even if it is sort of half-assed.

 

Don't cancel.

Be a warrior and fight against Islamophobia while you're there. This is such a shitty occasion to have Pride be "special" this year. Last year we had marriage equality in time for Pride. This year, we have mass death, pain, and loss. We also have the possibility that racism will spiral out of control, LGBT people will be divided against Muslims, another vulnerable minority, and divided we will snivel around for the scraps of safety we can muster from the majority.

As dire an occasion as this is, I think it's important to take the opportunity not just to let our gayness, our bi-ness, our transness be visible, but also let our solidarity with Muslims who are unfairly targeted by people who hate without research. It's important that we are not scared off of going to Pride. In a way, Pride isn't even about us this year.

 

I hope things are better next year.

As for this year, I understand how you felt. Both with the issue of going alone. Also practical issues such as transportation. And the client's passing.

I don't think I'll be going myself. It's hard getting to Seattle.

There is a closer Pride, but I've been there twice, and don't really feel there's much value. It's nice being in a judgment free zone. It could likely be the only chance I'll have to see/talk with/interact with LGBT people this summer. (Well, I casually know some LGBT people, but our paths may not cross.) But ultimately, I didn't really feel much connection, and I got tired of hands being waved under my nose in hopes of getting a donation.

Plus I'd be going alone, and I'm tired of going to things alone all the time.

Actually, the Pride I'd like to go to is the one in my grandparent's old home town. I'd like to see Undisclosed Small Town again, and the event seems interesting. But...no travel budget this year.

 

I tend to always get scared and a bit of anxiety when it comes to going places and going alone. I understand what you mean about how you won't have a good time and nothing will come of it, I feel the same way, but you have to keep going. If you don't put yourself out there, you are guaranteed nothing. The more events you go to the better chance that you will have a good time at at least one.

One thing that helps me, that gives me fuel is a latin phrase "Audentes Fortuna Iuvat" it means "fortune favors the brave". If you want to make a change in your life you have to make a change in your routine. You have to take control and you have to put in the effort. It is tough, but this is YOUR life, you have to take control, only YOU and your actions have the power to change you life.

Trust me I understand completely, I get real bad social anxiety, but you just have to keep pushing. Fight for you life, you create your own reality. Do not be discouraged, it's okay if you fail or don't have a good time, or cancel one event. Just try again, keep trying and put yourself out there.

 

I love this so much. The woman I used to date told me she might be making the drive to Chicago for the Pride parade, and that I was welcome to join her if she did. I want to so badly, and seeing how I don't want to go alone, nor do I know any other lesbians, I'd be so glad to go with her and her friends. I'm so afraid of not fitting in, but I really want to be there. If she doesn't go, I'm still tempted to go by myself. I need it right now. Trying to find my place in "lesbian world" after coming out this year, and now with the Orlando shooting weighing on my mind, it just feels like what I need to do.