Was it always clear for you?

Came out at 63; knew I was gay at 13.

 

Came out bi at 55. Knew I was "different" at 14. Knew I was bi at 21.

I wrestled with it a bunch as a teenager. Finally knew about the time I was 21. It took me quite a few more years...maybe 10 years to become comfortable with it within and just accept it. Even at that, it was another 20 years before I could open up and be out to my wife. But, it now feels great! I am truly happy about my sexuality and do not consider it the curse I did as a teenager.

See, I am convinced that one's sexuality is really a part of who they are. I accept and love myself, so my sexuality has to be part of that.

 

There's being gay and accepting it. I've been gay all my life, I just didn't accept it until midlife. In hindsight as a fully trained gay man, I thought a boy was cute in 6th grade. At the time I didn't know what gay was, so I had no way to interpret the signals to my brain. Today it is very clear to me because I've done the things I've posted about 1) Heal the shame of being gay and 2) Build a network of gay friends. Eventually you hit critical mass and the shed the shame.

 

Knew I was something different and had some sort of attraction to women early teens and came out at 25. Since then, looking back, it seems so obvious!!

 

I think my Kinsey score has gone up slightly since I came out into the synthetic territory of Kinsey 5.5. Given that I was married, it is difficult for me to think of myself as Kinsey 6 since I felt some attraction for my wife. The emotional attraction that I feel towards guys is significantly greater than what I feel towards women. As a result, it's unlikely that I would date a woman any time in the foreseeable future. I certainly know an attractive woman when I see one, though hot guys are more likely to get my attention.

When I was reading your posts before you came out, I had doubts about whether you were gay or not. Now that you have taken the leap of faith and came out as gay (I don't recall what piece of evidence put you over the edge), I would fully embrace the notion of being gay and see where it takes you. It's quite possible that your concern about coming out is just a form of denial. The last thing you want to do is flip-flop about your orientation (though flip-flopping as expression of your orientation is wonderful ). As you gain more experience with guys, you'll get a much better sense of where you fall on the Kinsey scale.

 

Crushes on teachers and celebrities as an adolescent. As a teenager I had a couple very intense friendships with some attraction. Would convince myself I admired them in some way.

At 33, had intense feelings for a woman. Admitted to being bisexual at 34. Only my husband and therapist know.

 

I knew I was different when I was really young, like 5 or 6. I would take my shirt off, and my mum wouldn't always be too supportive at that, and I used to wonder why. I always wore male clothes, I used to pee standing up. Once I started school, I realized that other people don't do these things, it was just me. I heard the term Transgender when I was 10 or so, and my mum started explaining it to me. Then at 12/13 I started doing lots of research and came to the conclusion I am a transgender individual. I've known for a long time and I haven't come out yet, but when I found out my 'label' I was just overwhelmed with joy. It was like my dream had come true, I could live life as who I truly am.

 

I didn't think I knew, but now that I'm out and reevaluating my life, it's been there since I was 13 and I boxed all those feelings away. Right now I feel like I'm unpacking and dealing with all those feelings that were shoved aside. It's actually been quite difficult lately.

 

So I am 45 had a long string of bad relationships with males... In the past year I have recently gotten married "again" to a man who has more "feminine" traits. My daughter who is ase stated this is the reason him and I get along. So not long ago I asked my spouse to have a threesome. What's gonna sound really weird is He has NEVER wanted to have a three some fmf but I convinced him. So every feeling I have ever had about looking at women and wanting to kiss a woman touch a woman came true in an instant. Now sitting back, I almost wish I would have done this years ago when I was younger. I talk to my daughter (who knows) and we have talked about normalizing heterosexuality. You know you grow up thinking you are only supposed to like the opposite sex... If you like someone who is the same sex as you, you think you are strange. Looking at a beautiful woman and think man she's gorgeous is wrong. I haven't come out (only my youngest daughter and my husband know), but I think I've known since I've been around 16 (I tried to kiss a girl - she wasn't into it). In fact at that point I began to believe I was strange because how can I like boys and girls? I think because of my daughters openness of enjoying women as much as men, I've been Able to be okay with what's going on. My husband is quite okay with it. I guess I just wish I could have both? You know? Like how do you explain that what my husband gives me is not enough? Now that I've had a bit of it, I wish I had more. Am I making any sense?

 

Kinsey 5 doesn't necessarily mean being turned on by a woman, it can simply mean appreciating beauty in the opposite sex - a kind of low-level attraction that many gay men might recognise. Kinsey believed most people were somewhere in between 0 and 6 on his scale. Unfortunately, some people continually question themselves unless they can hit 6 on the scale and remain there throughout their lives and it's just not realistic. I doubt I have ever been a perfect 6, but I'm totally secure about my own sexuality... now.

To answer the original question - I knew when I was in my teens, but the signs were there around the age of 9. Acceptance came some years later.

 

I had my first semi-sexual (heavy petting, touching, etc.) contact with a boy in my neighborhood when I was 14. I knew I liked him. I enjoyed being with him. I dismissed this in my mind as just experimenting with a friend, a part of puberty and growing up. Throughout my teens, I crushed on boys, but appreciated girls. It would occur to me that I was gay, but I buried that down deep. I never dated a girl until my senior year of high school. We dated until our junior year of college. Over this time, I fantasizes about men but never had any inkling that I was gay, because I dated a woman. Over the next two years I had two gay friends who I would hook Up with on occasion. The feelings I experienced with them were unlike anything I had felt before or since. Then I met my wife. She pursues me, I thought that all of what I had done was just "fun experimentation" and that it was time to get in with life and have a girlfriend, get married, and settle down. However, I always had a "fear" that I am gay, because I think deep down I always knew.

---------- Post added 13th Jun 2016 at 11:18 AM ----------

I had my first semi-sexual (heavy petting, touching, etc.) contact with a boy in my neighborhood when I was 14. I knew I liked him. I enjoyed being with him. I dismissed this in my mind as just experimenting with a friend, a part of puberty and growing up. Throughout my teens, I crushed on boys, but appreciated girls. It would occur to me that I was gay, but I buried that down deep. I never dated a girl until my senior year of high school. We dated until our junior year of college. Over this time, I fantasizes about men but never had any inkling that I was gay, because I dated a woman. Over the next two years I had two gay friends who I would hook Up with on occasion. The feelings I experienced with them were unlike anything I had felt before or since. Then I met my wife. She pursues me, I thought that all of what I had done was just "fun experimentation" and that it was time to get in with life and have a girlfriend, get married, and settle down. However, I always had a "fear" that I am gay, because I think deep down I always knew.

 

Came out at 69, completely inexperienced with men. Known I was different at 5 or 6, knew I was gay at 12 or 13, but lived in denial/self-deceit most of my life.

 

My mother puts gay people on the level of finding black mold growing in your shower. The same level as bestiality and pedophiles. I remember a few times realizing that I liked girls a little too much, but I wrote it off in my mind as admiration.

There were few men who did anything for me. I was in middle school for the N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees glory days. I didn't find any of them attractive. I like the music, but the appeal to preteen hormones missed me. But I was supposed to like them like them, so I was different. If it weren't for three or four men right now, I'd say I'm a lesbian.

I fought myself for a while about it, like six months, before even considering really giving thought to it. I went from thinking that this is a way to rebel against my mother, to thinking it is a delayed experimental phase, to asking if I really just want attention. It isn't a rebellion or a phase and I'm not doing it for attention. It has only been looking back that I realize how much I stifled myself and my attraction towards women. And I still haven't told my mom.

 

There were signs for me starting really early (probably age 7 or 8 is the earliest I can remember), but I didn't recognize these feelings towards other girls as crushes until about the age of 12 or 13. When I was 7 or 8, I thought I really wanted to be best friends with this camp counselor. Of course it was a crush, and looking back on it it was probably painfully obvious, but I didn't realize it at the time.