I need to ramble to clear my head, so bare with me. The only woman I know, previously the third wheel in my marriage, has continued to invite me over when she gets drunk. As much as I want to run to her, I don't anymore. I fell in love with her but things went bad a couple of years ago so I have been distancing myself from her. Yes she has helped me get back on my feet, and yes I am very much attracted to her. But I want something more, something other than an invite every once in a while when she is drunk. I want someone to want me sober or not. My heart sank when she told me several months ago that she can't think of me romantically without some alcohol in her. I believe she has not come to terms with who she is or just seeking fun and adventure as she called it before when she realized I have fallen in love with her. Sad that my heart is telling me to walk away, keep the communication line open and limited but refrain from being intimate with her. As much as I want to, I hesitate. She is the only woman I have slept with, and I miss her. My husband and I have come to a point in our lives where we both are comfortable with my orientation, and have put some ground work for an open relationship. So thanks to those who replied to a previous thread I had some time ago I was able to keep an open mind
Sorry you are going through this, must be so tough on you. I don't have any answers as I know how hard it is to be in love with someone and try to step away. It does sound like she is using you, but then you could be right and internally she is battling her true feelings for you. I know how you feel with missing her and it can really consume you.
