I came out to my mom a year ago. Before that she has always been.. shall we say, of an 'old school mindset' - Women are supposed to like only men and look/speak/dress/act like women and men should follow suit. I'm smack dab in the middle of fem and tomboy - I wear my hair long, but cut it short last year (thought my mom was going to have a heart attack), only on special occasions do I wear makeup, paint my toes hot pink sometimes, other times it's black etc. So my mom isn't used to queer people that choose to look any other way. Come to think of it, I don't think she has EVER known an out queer person. So, yeah, she has no experience in this way. Today I took her out for lunch. As we walked up to the front of the mexican restaurant she saw what appeared to be two lesbians meeting at the front door. They embraced and shared a quick peck on the lips. My mom took one look at them and said under her breath "Look, lesbo dykes.. They should go to WA or OR if they want to look like lumber jacks." To which I promptly said, "Mom, it's 2016. People can dress any way they feel comfortable, and be with whomever they choose, pretty much anywhere they want to in this world." But she just snorted a judgmental and cavalier snort and kept walking. I know she really didn't mean anything by it and I DO believe that ultimately she is accepting of, what she would call - "alternative lifestyles." She is just really stuck in her ways and not used to ever having to think about the queer life up until a year ago when I cam out. I guess I'm sharing this with you because I am tired of the huge gap between baby-boomers and millennials regarding lgbt+ issues. I'm tired of putting up with it. And I know people can change; my dad did! He was a big time hater when it came to the gays not too long ago (we're talking a couple years ago). He's almost 60 now and is totally down with all things lgbt+. I swear, since telling him I'm bi we are even closer now! I wish my mom made the effort to change more in this way. If not for the sake of keeping up with the times, then for her incredibly queer daughter (me :smilewave) who feels like she can't be herself around her own mother. I would love to feel that support from her. Ok, rant over. Please! Add your two cents here! I would love to know what you think. Bigest hugs to you all, (*hug*) Aubrey
I think you are awesome, Aubrey. Seriously, you are handling it well and are being yourself, being an awesome bi person in your parents' and other lives. That is exactly how things evolve and change for the better. I am hoping to join you as being out to family. I have a trip planned in a month where I will plan to come out to my parents and other out-of-state family. And hopefully catch some fish, too. LOL.
Thank you so much, Adray! I am flattered that you think I'm awesome I think now more than ever it's important to be a strong, generous and happy queer person and lead by example. I hope you find the courage to come out to your family next month. If you are anything like me, the moments leading up to actually saying the words will be scary. But hopefully your family with love and support you no matter what. I support you, Adray. Like my signature says - Stand in your own truth. I know you've got this! I hope you will post the good news that you came out to your family here on EC after you do. I will be one of many people - I'm sure - in the comments congratulating you on a job well done! Best wished to you, Adray. And good luck! (*hug*)
Haha, your mom sounds a lot like my mom. High five! Trust me, I understand what you're saying. If anyone knows about not being themelves around their mom, it's me. I also really understand that feeling of wishing that you could be closer to them. On the bright side, there's always hugs! Hugs are awesome.
RavenTheRat - Ugh. Unfortunately, I know many moms (and others) sound like our moms. Yeah, what the hell - High five! lol ride:
Thanks, Aubrey! I will definitely post on my experience after it happens, after I've come out to family out-of-state. Once I've made that step, I think I'm going to put a Bi Pride flag up on Facebook and just declare it there with a Timeline post. My goal is fully out, and that will do it. I have to tell family first, they deserve to hear it before the FB world. But yeah, being out and being the best bi guy I can be is definitely what I want to do. I have already been doing that with my local circle of friends and my band, and I love it. Thank you so much for your support, it means a lot! (*hug*)
