During times of great change and uncertainty, is anyone else here experiencing quite a bit of physical pain too? When I first separated from my husband, I felt emotionally stunned but physically OK. However as the months have gone by, maybe now I am feeling the lack of his presence more acutely, and realising this is for ever, it's not just a temporary separation like when he was away on business. I am getting a lot of back pain, which is not related to any activities I am doing, and is not relieved by going to the osteopath. I read on a website about the stages of grief, that in addition to anger, denial, depression etc it can also be common to experience intense fatigue and back and neck pain for some time. Sometimes the pain accompanies conscious feelings of anxiety, loneliness or uncertainty, and at other times it seems to be present instead of conscious feelings, and when the feelings are acknowledged, especially if I cry a lot, then the backache goes away for a short time. At other times I get the pain when I am in a good frame of mind and just starting to relax. Then the pain comes on. It's as if I have to be hyper-alert the whole time, and mustn't relax my guard in case something bad happens. Then I get cross with myself for not being able to relax, which of course is completely counterproductive. I have been working hard to try and develop greater compassion for myself, and in some areas have begun to see progress, but I find the backache very frustrating and debilitating. I think I got into the habit many years ago of hiding all my feelings because they were unacceptable, and got used to thinking a certain amount of tension was normal. Even though I am now much more open, my body seems to have become conditioned to opt for physical pain in preference to emotional. When I first came out, the sensation of physical relief was considerable, but I think once all the implications began to sink in, and life began to change, I have replaced one set of worries with another. I am really interested to know if anyone else is experiencing the same problem, and if so, if there is anything they have found helpful in dealing with it.
Yes, I've certainly experienced that. Along with anxiety and fear, physical pain will then rear its ugly head After my trigger crush walked out of my life last year, there was wayyyyy too much physical pain. And even though you feel calm on the surface, it doesn't mean your body is at peace. It takes months for the fear, anxiety, etc to truly dissipate and our bodies not be in fight or flight mode.
