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marriage and Bisexual

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Phaidra, Jun 15, 2016.

  1. Phaidra

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2016
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    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Ok so ive been in a lesbian marriage for nearly 8 years and all of the sudden i started craving a guy. Its kind of freaking me out. Ive more or less been a lesbian all my life even though i did find the occasional guy cute. My wife says it would be fine bringing a guy into our lives and while it sounds kind of fun in a way it scares the hell out of me. I was raised catholic and while im Atheist some Things still stick with me that i find hard to shed away. I personaly get freaked out about the idea of paligomy and Ive always felt like if im married that shes the only one sort of Thing. And ive always hated cheating even though she says it would be ok because she is bisexual to.

    Also i hear though ive had Little proof that bisexual peoples Preferences often Change. Is this something i Need to get used to somehow?

    Comments? questions? concerns?

    Your thoughts are much welcome... Thanks
     
  2. Morgana

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
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    Location:
    Austin, TX
    People change. That is a certainty. What is not certain is how they will change and what the effects of that change might be.

    As someone in a polyamorous marriage, I will say this. The only things that matter are what the two of you decide for yourselves are the boundaries. Not the church, not society, not families' approvals. If the two of you decide that, under certain circumstances, you can either of you bring someone else into your relationship, and those circumstances are adhered to, then I firmly believe it's not cheating. Cheating is when you're hiding something, or deceiving someone to get what you want. An open marriage, or a polyamorous one is based on trust, just like a monogamous marriage.

    I'm not saying it's for you, I'm not saying it's for everyone. But it's something you might want to look into. It is entirely possible to be responsibly non-monogamous.

    If you have questions, feel free to ask me.

    Morgana