I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. Internalized homophobia and self worthlessness has made their way through my head again and my heart aches. My heart aches for Orlando. My heart aches. All I wanted was to be myself, and husband is finally accepting me for me. He still loves me, but why do I feel so bad? Anxiety is telling me I should be in bed and push people away, it is safer, no one wants to be around me. But I am not going back to the place where the war against myself consumed me. No. My mind will clear up. My breathing will slow down. My hands will stop shaking. Two minutes. In two minutes I will be able to breathe. My heart aches.
I'm sorry for your struggle. Know that you aren't alone. We all came here for support. Be you, as your own wonderful self, and the people who accept you are those you should be around. Those who don't are the ones to stay away from.
