Well where do I start. I was in elementary school when I realized that I liked boys. I had been bullied and made fun of because I acted different. I acted feminine and the bullying went on a lot. I always denied the fact that I liked boys. It was when I got to middle school that I thought it would be a good idea to start dating a girl. I thought that this would end the bullying and people would stop thinking I was gay. Well it ended up that my girlfriend got pregnant at 15 and we had our baby at 16. I am now 24 years old and still in the same relationship with the same girl. I feel that I do love her but I honestly don't know if I'm in love with her. As i have gotten older I feel like I am even more attracted to men. I recently came out to my mom and I was so nervous about it. One of the things she told me was that I messed up but now I need to think of our kids. She thinks that its not a good idea to tell my girlfriend that I'm gay. After telling my mom that I was gay I told her not to tell my brother or sister but she felt like she had to tell them. I did brake up with my girlfriend over the weekend but all I told her was that I wasn't happy. In those couple of days that we weren't living in the same house I felt as if my family didn't want to talk to me. When ever I talked to my mom it was always her telling me that I have done something horrible and she was praying that I was just going through a stage and I would change my mind and go back home to my girlfriend. I know what I'm doing is terrible but do I stay in the relationship and keep pretending that Im happy for the sake of our kids? I ended up going back to my girlfriend and apologizing for not feeling happy but now I feel even worse. Now that I've went back home my mom started talking to me again. Ive been feeling really lonely and feel as if I'm falling into a depression. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
I'd find another place to live, than w your mom. It's complicated, but she's not supporting you. Her lack of support is making you doubt yourself. You've taken some great authentic steps to be truthful.
Also, why not be honest? Best that your kids know whom you are and they see that it's ok to be gay. The feeling of relief when your completely open is also a very liberating experience. Your mother is wrong, plane and Simple. In your heart you know it as well. Time to follow your heart.
If your relatives are not supportive of you and force you to go against who you are, this will not end well. You owe it to yourself and to your children to be honest, and (much) happier than now. You should discuss it frankly with your girlfriend. Perhaps she and you can find ways to make this work so that the kids will not suffer from this situation. There are solutions. It will come to you, but only with a lot of communication focusing on the well-being of both you and your kids, and unfortunately it might also means straining your relationship with your parents. Coming out is rarely easy. The follow-up is not always rainbows.
Hey First of all. Don't start blaming yourself for how you feel. It is easy to get emotionally sucked into what others around you may be saying. But, your mother is wrong. Your sexual orientation is a part of you and it is not a bad thing. It is just going to take some adjustment to your life for you to accommodate it and become the full person you are. I would recommend being completely honest with your girlfriend. There are a number of ways to do this. It might be good to have some plan of what you need when you do this as she will have a lot of questions of you. There will be a full range of emotions that she may go through when she learns this and it will be a tough process. But, is really needs to happen. Best luck. Keep posting.
Be honest. I opened up to my kids because I need them to grow up knowing it's better to be open and honest and happy than to lie and be sad. Ask yourself "what if my kids were gay? What would I want them to do?" And do that. If you'd want your kids to be out and happy, then be out and happy. Sometimes I think we as parents think hiding our own emotions is best for our kids, but in reality, letting them see us handle ours prepares them to grow up handling theirs better.
