I'm not going to go into a regret and anxiety spiral, I'm stronger than that. I've been really emotional, but if all of these steps were easy, none of us would have been in the closet to start with.... I'm clearly going to have some ups and downs. But I'm done with this angst. It's time to keep moving forward.
Emotional roller coaster.... I'll sum it up - Positive happy proud place since April. Then the stuff in Orlando -pure heartbreak. That lit a fire under me- I made two big statements on FB, one basically stating I'm queer in a larger statement about the attacks, another more focused on my journey and my identity. And all sorts of emotions came out of that. Vulnerability, anxiety, and nostalgia. The woman I was in love with just before I got married, she was the first to like my out status. And it made me ...ponder a lot about what I wish things could have been. But I can't be angsty. It's not always going to be- take risk, feel good. Sometimes it's going to be - take risk, feel raw and emotional, grow. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Emotions are like weather, the clouds, sometimes sun & sometimes rain … hail. But don't forget the deep blue sky behind the weather … our true nature.
Ok, thanks. Ive caught most of these peices in your other threads but just wasnt sure if you were referencing that stuff or other mystery thing or both. ---------- Post added 17th Jun 2016 at 05:01 AM ---------- Yeah, I keep wanting to find a deep thing to say, jedi. But, insomnia brain no good at that. Please know that I care.
I'm with you on this! Started my own thread yesterday that was trying to say much the same thing. You're very good at expressing and explain your feelings and emotions. I don't always reply to your posts because I don't feel that I have anything to add to the discussion, but I read most of them, and find them very helpful and insightful.
Baristajedi and Notmyname, I think we're all in similar boats. Every time I read your posts, I feel like you're writing my own feelings down for me. I've been on that same emotional roller-coaster lately. Sometimes it feels great, and others I feel lost, alone, and concerned about everything I've done in my past. I'm trying to convince myself that these aren't bad feelings, they're just plain feelings that I have to work through. I've boxed up so much for so long that I need to learn how to feel them, be vulnerable, and cope with that. It's not a bad thing to feel. Right?