AAAAAAAAARGGGHHHHH!!!!! This woman!!! This woman!!! Geezus Christ!!! I'm trying to remain cool after our hot encounter last week. Why am I trying to remain cool? She lives in a different city from me, which is annoying. What I want to do though, is message her saying: "I found your hair on one of my bedroom pillows last night (easily identifiable by length and hair color) and I've been grinning stupidly ever since. Please forgive the idiocy you are currently witnessing. I just like you and think you're hot and honestly can't wait to see you again. But letting you know that is scary and stupid, so fuck knows why I'm doing it anyway. Any chance you're still in town and want to have dinner with me on Sunday?" Thing is, I can't do that. My gut is telling me: NO. WAIT. You'll see her in a week. WAIT. Don't be fucking desperate. We briefly saw each other again in sober mode a few days ago and eye flirted a little. She waited until her friends had left to approach me and gave me a big hug, but sat down with some other people. I got confused because I felt her catching my eye and looking down and smiling shyly (such a classic, so efficient) was a hint that she was still attracted to me. Then I invited her to sit with us and she did. Naturally, all we did was talk about the horrific attack in Orlando. As I was about to leave, I asked her if she had plans for the evening and she had some with her friends. So I said OK and told her have a good time and smiled. She just gave me this big smile. I feel like we have this unspoken "agreement" that when we meet again, we'll hook up again. Then again, I feel like I shouldn't expect that. Just go with the flow. Don't push things. Nature will happen. Now is a test of patience and keeping focus on my own life. It fucking SUCKS because my mind is going "HER HER HER HER HER HER HER" and replaying make-out and sex scenes on repeat. I WANT her SO badly. FUCK I'm so screwed.
Isn't falling for someone fun?! I've had that stupid grin and school girl feeling for a woman before and it's amazing. Enjoy it!
Fun! God it's nerve-wreckingly fun! I can't think! I just cannot think! I'm just grinning stupidly all the fucking time! Haha!
Lol. Yup. That sounds right. I'm alone again now, and I'm missing that nerve wrecking, smiling stupidly type fun.
Well, that's just the amazing thing, isn't it! It can jump you from out of the blue. I had just had some fucking 8 months of heartache and was finally beginning to successfully detach and feel like myself again. Then this bloody miracle pops up from out of nowhere and shouts my name. BAM! Healed. Zero fucks given about old heartache.
I feel like I've missed at least 20-30 pages of a really *good* book?? All I can say is WOW, still extatic despite having to skip through pages.
Oh my goodness, I'll have to agree completely. When I first kissed my trigger crush it was like tasting liquid fire, while fireworks went off in my body. Blushing, I actually swooned when I saw her on saturday past. We went on our first dinner date, dutch of all things.. lol. haven't done that in like forever. But her eyes, her smile and my god those lips, sigh. yup, got it bad. too.:icon_redf
Shit, Plaid...you give me hope. I'm coming up on 8 months of heartache. I want to give 0 fucks too by meeting a new, hot chick. What does she look like?
She's got this wonderfully curvy femme style with short hair going coupled with this calm demeanor that I can tell is simmering underneath the surface. It slips through these tiny cracks in her emotional armor in ways that make her seem tough and vulnerable at the same time - confident but also shy, hard on the outside soft on the inside. I've always been a sucker for that. It's so hot. She's got this gorgeous smile that reaches her eyes in a way that makes them squint just slightly and arms and shoulders that make me want to go pillow princess mode just so I can lay there and clasp them, and run my (short, but still) nails down her upper back. I'm way too crazy about her to go pillow princess, though. I just want to give her lots and lots of orgasms. Her legs... Gahhh. My mental image of them has jeans on them. Off. Those jeans need to come off so we can lay underneath the covers and alternate between sex and spooning. And the scent and taste of her. I swear I sniffed the pillow she had for a week. Lol I'm so fucking screwed. Please, goddess of love, let me meet her again and let us have more sex and spooning. I swear I will sacrifice stuff to you if you do.
There's a pride party coming up this weekend and we'll both be there. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Is she still attracted to me? What if she finds someone else? God, I just want to kiss her again.
