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Reflection without an answer

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by LionsAndShadows, Jun 17, 2016.

  1. LionsAndShadows

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    When I started a thread earlier this week I said:

    “Shame is hideous. And I knew it from when I was very young. I felt shamed as a young boy because I was just a little bit different, but in so many ways, from ‘normal’ boys. I felt shame when I was repeatedly molested as a boy. That was full on shame. I could see and recall that.

    “Then in adolescence the potential for yet more shame arrived when I realised I was gay. By then, I think, I’d had enough of shame. I guess I couldn’t take any more.”

    Tonight I feel how sad that is. How sad it is to remember myself that way. Because at that time so much else was good, so much was fun, some much of my life was indeed filled with friendship and fun and love. I was indeed LOVED.

    Shame is so powerful an emotion. It wasn’t all good, but some of it was, most of it was - shame stole the good and stamped it out in my memory. But I know there was so much good beside the bad.

    There have been so many things this week to make us think. Orlando last weekend, yesterday in the UK the murder of Jo Cox a wonderful woman filled with love killed by another somehow filled with hate.

    There is injustice in this world. For goodness sake, many of us know that. But where does the hate come from? Really, what is its source?

    It makes you think, and it makes you wonder why?
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    Sounds like your grieving a bit, and that is an absolutely normal human reaction to both your realizations of shame as a child, and the current events in the world.

    Grieving helps heal, it's powerful. Embrace it.