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how to tell someone you just met tricky things about yourself

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Houdini, Jun 19, 2016.

  1. Houdini

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    Hi, I could really use some advice on this because it is all really new to me.
    To give a quick summary: I started questioning my sexuality about 2 years ago and about a year ago I broke up with my then boyfriend. We lived together and still do because I was generally struggeling with life and even after the break-up he remained my best friend and would always support me. Currently we still live together because I am still waiting on an answer wheather or not I was accepted to an university course and if not I may move to another city. We both came to an aggreement and things work out in our flat for us though for most people it is akward because we do not have separate rooms.

    So here comes the tricky part. On Saturday I met someone at my local pride night. And we met again yesterday to watch soccer together with a friend of hers. I really like her and for the first time this just feels right to me. And I have a feeling that she as well wants to see where this could go.
    I don't want to jump ahead but I am worried how or when I should tell her that I still live with my ex-boyfriend, that we share a room (all very akward if you can't invite someone to your place), that it took me 27 years to figure out that I am gay, that she is actually the first girl I made out with etc.
    Thanks to anyone who can give me some advice
    P.S.: yes, I tend to overthink everything :wink:
     
  2. Tomás1

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    Just tell her. Rehearse it a bit. Keep it short & simple. You can expand on it later, if the conversation goes that way. It's not like you're on parole for a heinous crime, & afraid to tell her.

    When you open your heart to someone, it usually creates a sweet space, that invites a connection.
     
  3. baristajedi

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    This is a great question. I may need to consider similar conversations in the near future.

    I think what Beingdude said is right, getting to kniw someone, through dating, is a chance to open up to that person. I say be honest and as the need arises talk about these details.
     
  4. Shorthaul

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    I agree. Be honest with yourself and the girl.
     
  5. RosePetals76

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    If it's too much to spill at once, maybe try small bits at a time.
     
  6. Houdini

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    Thanks for the advice.
    I am just afraid that if I tell her to soon, she will loose interest or that it is just too much for her (she is a bit younger) but I can't not tell her because then I feel like I am lying to her.
    Guess I just want to do it "right" because I really like her. I just met her and already I have butterflies all day long and I am really "spacey" and can't stop thinking about her...