How soon did you tell your opposite-sex partner?

1) 50 years
2) yes, but not if you become sexually active and/or emotionally involved with a same-sex partner
3) I dropped hints for about a year, but eventually I had to just face the music and come out unequivocally

 

Nineteen days from the time I completely came out to myself to the day I told my husband. (I thought it was a bit longer, but I went back and looked up the exact dates... wow.)

For me, it wouldn't have been possible. My husband is the person I have counted on since my late teens for support. I'd probably have brought it up sooner, but it took me nineteen days to figure out how to share it in the most loving, reassuring way I could.

I did not drop any hints... however, what surprised me is that he wasn't at all surprised. Although he'd never consciously realized I was attracted to women, he says that the moment I shared my truth with him, everything sort of fell into place. It fit.

 

I have been married to my wife for 17 years, and only recently came out to her. She had a good idea that I am gay for some time. I have never dropped hints, but I have viewed gay pornography and chatted in gay chat rooms, which she has been aware of.

 

It took me 32 years to come out to my wife. Most of those, 30 years I didn't think it mattered. I was a pretty satisfied
bisexual and didn't feel I needed to be out. I was wrong. I am so much happier now. I didn't realize how the secret wore me down a little bit at a time. Or, how freeing it is to be able to share all of me with my wife.

 

I came out to myself in December of last year, and have been trying to tell my wife for the past 3 weeks, but it has yet to happen, when I get to the point of telling her, I just get to scared and the conversation never happens. But this time I'm 99% positive this is the weekend I'm going to do it, I just can't live this lie anymore it's driving me insane. And no I cannot continue to be in a deceitful marriage indefinitely. I have have dropped hints for a while I'm pretty sure she has an idea. But well find out when it happens.

 

I came out to my husband pretty soon after I came out to myself, maybe within 3 days... There's no right way to do things though. We all take times to process things in different ways.

I should note that I came out to my husband as bisexual, but my label has evolved over time and if I'd felt as strongly as I do now that I'm closer to lesbian, I might have found it harder to come out that quickly. Although it was daunting as f*** to come out bi, it's just simply that the impact to the relationship is different.

There are lots of ways to drop hints, if that's how you'd like to get the conversatuon started...perhaps you could watch or read things together with LGBT themes and get into a conversation about it. You could show him interesting articles you've "stumbled" across.

I know this is daunting! You are going to do well, honey. (*hug*)

 

I think, because I'm bisexual and I was relatively young and in a stable relationship, it was very easy for me to come out. The moment I put a name to it, I announced it to him. His reaction was that he had known for quite some time.

He, however, once he came out to himself, spent six months agonizing how to tell me. And truly, I know he was struggling with it for longer than that, but he had to admit to himself first. When I look back, I've always known he was gay - when he told me he needed to talk, I knew what was coming. The hints were always there, but he vehemently denied them, so I trusted.

Best of everything to you. (*hug*)

 

I told my husband I was bisexual a few months into our relationship, and that I had previously had a relationship with a woman. We have been together almost 10 years now. He was and still is very supportive although he did have concerns about me leaving him for another woman (understandable, I suppose). I always knew he was very LGBT friendly anyway though, he has several gay friends. However, now I want to be more 'out', and open and visible about my sexuality so we are having lots of conversations about it again. I guess we are still figuring out what that means for us.

Maybe you can try and bring up some LGBT conversations and see what his reaction is? Maybe get him to watch some OITNB? Just to see how he might react? Then maybe take it from there... Good luck.