OK I guess I need to try harder because right now I'm crying a little. I was supposed to go to a party tomorrow and I was kind of nervous about it because it would be a long day but I was happy because I’d been invited and because I’d be getting out with people which I never do. (LGBT people, or at least most of them... it was a party with people from my LGBT dance class.) Well, my ride fell through so now I can’t go. I can't take Uber because it would cost too much money so now I'm just going to go to the movies by myself or something. Or sit around watching Orange is the New Black and playing LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I gave up on the dating site for now. I mean my profile is still up in the unlikely event that someone wants to message me but I can't handle sending out all these messages and never hearing back. It just makes me feel like crap. I don't know why I'm so sad. Part of me didn't even want to go to the party. But I feel like I'm just going to be alone forever and I really cannot handle it. I'm not even talking just about having a partner, I don't even have any friends.
(I put this in your other post, double post...): (*hug*) You're doing you're best. There's nothing with feeling the way you feel. I understand how much you were probably looking forward to it. Just a thought - can you get a different ride? Bus?
Dang it, I double checked to make sure the first post hadn't gone through but I guess it did. Mods are welcome to delete it! I was nervous about the party, I'm not going to lie. It was going to be a long day and that's hard for me. But I was looking forward to it. The guys who were going to drive me offered to give me the phone number of another lady who lives near me who is going but I barely know her and I'm really not comfortable taking her number from someone else, let alone doing it to ask her for a favor. I didn't check the bus schedules but the last time I went to that neighborhood on the bus it took about three hours. So I'd have to get up early and leave the party early and it just doesn't seem like a good idea.
Call her!! It's like any other referral. Just say you got her number from Fred because he thought she might be able to give you a lift. You live on Main Street so you were wondering if that would be possible. The worst that could happen is she'd say no. Which would be no reflection on you. Ok?! She doesn't know you enough to form any opinion. And maybe she'll say yes and actually be relieved to have someone to drive with. This is just carpooling. You're not asking her to help you move.
If I knew her better I might do it, but I really barely know her and she might feel put on the spot. I don't want to be that person who is always begging people for rides. Also practically speaking it's too late. I appreciate the advice though.
Would it be affordable to do uber one way and a ride back? Do you think one of the people there could give you a ride back?
Uber even one way would be way too expensive. And I have no idea if anyone could give me a ride back. I really don't know most of these people so well. I thought it was great that the hostess of the party invited me (since it's actually her private party and not a dance class event) but I don't know her so well either and if these guys can't give me ride I am just out of luck. I do appreciate the suggestions though.
There's dance class on Friday but I'm working next weekend so that might not work out. But I'll wait and see if the guys can give me a ride and maybe I'll go. A lot of events that I'd like to go to, like the ones at the LGBT center, just aren't possible without a car. But I have a driving phobia and not a lot of extra money so I won't be getting a car.
I don't drive and my city doesn't have a lot of public transportation so I feel your pain. I went to the movie by myself yesterday since my friends were all gone for the holiday weekend. Don't feel bad if you end up doing the same
I think maybe you would be better joining a few more things where you can meet people but dont have to ask for lifts. I dont drive myself and I know that whilst a few people dont mind giving a lift here and there lots of other people dont to like to for various reasons. Is there anything at all suitable in your city? Its really hard often if you dont drive, I've had ex friends say I'm a sponger etc and say things like tell them next time they cant come etc, when I've asked for a lift. Thats why I'm loathed to ask anyone for a lift ever.
That is my big fear, that people will think I am a sponger, so I usually don't ask. These particular guys were really nice about it and offered but usually I don't ask. I am way out in the suburbs of my city. I can get into the city on my own if I don't mind a long bus ride but I don't feel safe doing it at night. So there aren't very many suitable events. I feel guilty about not having a car but it's really just not something I feel I can do right now.
Hon, self-pity and self-compassion are two very different things. The first says everything is everyone else's fault and the world owes you, so you can treat others like shit and feel justified in doing so. The second is there for you in your pain and lets you cry when you need to, telling you that yes, life is unfair and yes, this is a shitty situation, but you're going to be OK. Don't hold back the tears or repress your emotions. Be there for yourself. Hugs and love.
