Delighted. Did you say this to someone or someone said it to you? I say this to my daughter nearly daily.
I told a woman that, because I meant it! Then she went all overwhelmed on me and I've been trying to talk to her about it but she's just telling me how surprised and caught off guard she felt by it and she's not responding to me anymore! I think I freaked her out big time, so I'm trying to take a step back but I really like her! I just want her to know that I really like her for real. I've told her that I meant it and that I'm sorry if I overwhelmed her. She doesn't say anything to me after that.
I would be flattered as fuck that is just such a profound and genuine compliment! But I do understand that she may feel overwhelmed and like your comment jumped into a new area of interaction that she wasn't sure you were close enough for yet? I mean, I imagine that's something that many people would only expect to hear from their wife or something. I personally would be happy with it at any point but I think such things make some people feel like your being pushy and that they are under pressure to reciprocate such hugely strong feelings and that makes them anxious. I think you need to try and fix it and act a little cooler. I know I've been too clingy with girls and then when I've taken a bit of a step back and let them come to me a little more, they come to like me far more than before.
You're so right, SHACH! Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear. You're so right, it was taking a leap across some boundaries that I would not have leapt across while sober… It was way too much, too early, and the best thing to do is just shut the hell up and focus on other people, other things, other women, and leave her the fuck alone. Time will tell if I scared her off completely and successfully managed to sabotage any interest or not.
I can see how it might be overwhelming. I've had a few people gush admiringly at me a few times, not romantically alas and it makes me wonder about their critical thinking skills. Not that this is the same but it's a bit of a shock when, as far as you can tell, you're not doing anything special and someone has this overly positive reaction to you. I think if you leave it for a bit and then approach her again with a lighthearted mea culpa, maybe something along the lines of "You're really nice and I'm susceptible to your kind of niceness. I got a little excited but I'm back to normal now. I hope you're ok and I wouldn't mind hearing from you again." It's probably best to tone it down for now. :dry:
I think it's a wonderful thing to say. It can also be terrifying to the person hearing it because either they: 1) Are flattered but don't feel the same way and don't know how to possibly return the compliment, or 2) They don't think they deserve those words. (And perhaps in turn don't trust them) Hard to say. Shach has a good idea to act cooler. People can be delicate and even a compliment or speaking from the heart can hurt a relationship. (What ever kind of relationship) Depends on how self-loving and accepting the person is and can they deal with it. If they are genuine and like you, they will still want to know you. If not, perhaps they are not able/willing to get so emotionally positive in a relationship. i.e Easier for some to get negative and stop the conversation.
I would feel pretty good. Though maybe a bit weirded out depending on my relationship with the person.
Too late, I already said a shortly after sobering up that I'm sorry for saying all the things I said while drunk, although I meant them and understand if she felt it was too much. She had already told me prior to those words that she had been hurt in the past and maybe was acting like an asshole towards me because of that. Thing is, I knew her, although not closely, for years and seeing her from time to time would just cheer me up in-between my own shitty relationships. So I don't know. I'll leave it be for now and hope she gets something good out of it eventually.
You spoke your truth and you came from a good place. Apologizing any further would just make it more awkward and look as if you keep trying to "go there." Not sure of your relationship with this woman, but I'd just move forward like it ain't no thing. You said it, you're secure in yourself, she knows what level you're at emotionally and if she wants to reciprocate, she can. Sometimes, certain souls have that affect on us. Met a woman last year and she immediately felt like home. I've never felt anything like it. How do articulate that? I don't believe you can. So enjoy the boost in energy she gives you, you've already apologized, and roll on like the pimp you are. Lol.
Thing is, it's weird. We used to meet often when both of us went clubbing often, but she had a girlfriend then, so I stayed respectful of that. They broke up and after that I have not seen her as often, but when I did was always at these weird moments when I was really down and out. And I always went home happier, just because I'd spent some time with her. Ah, all you wiser, older lesbians. I love you so much for all the honest advice. Thank you! I wish I had you all around my neighborhood. Yeah, best just leave it. I've asked someone out for coffee this weekend already. No weird past with her, so something good might actually happen. LOL
I would be really flattered, too! Like, smiling without being able to stop. I don't know about the overwhelmed thing. I guess I'd have to see/hear the context in which it was said. I agree that you should hang back and act cool about it. Like, emotionless-cool. Like maybe you say that to everyone-cool. Make it so that she's not flattering herself too much off of what you said. No reason to be overwhelmed by that comment. Also, maybe she's not the one to give such a compliment to. I don't see how that would ever be a turn off, friendship or romantic, unless I was uncomfortable with that person's feelings because I couldn't reciprocate them.
I don't think she's the type to flatter herself, and if she does, it's OK. I wanted to give her something and that's the nicest thing I could give her given the circumstances, so I just hope she'll look back on it some time from now and feel good about it.
