I have been feeling a bit down lately. I feel like I should give up any hope of dating a woman. I finally came to terms that I am bisexual only a few years ago. I had 1 messy and non-conventional relationship with a woman. It ended badly. But, I was hopeful that I would find a nice woman to date and have a relationship with. I've mostly put myself out there on dating websites. I've sent out some messages (not that many), but they look and never respond or respond and see that I'm bi and / or have kids and stop talking to me. I'm frustrated. It's not that I don't want to date guys, but I'm more attracted to women at the moment. And I'd like to pursue a relationship with a woman. I tend to be a little shy. And when I initialize any conversations with someone I'm attracted to, I think I come off as awkward. I'm not sure what I'm asking. But, I wanted to writ it out. I have only 1 other friend that know I'm bisexual. She doesn't understand why I am unable to find someone since she thinks I'm attractive and easy to talk to. I don't even get hit on by men. And I am more feminine, which probably makes it more difficult to pick my out as non-straight. Are there any other bi people that seem to have issues when it comes to dating? Maybe it's just me and my lack of dating skills...lol.
I'm not bi, but I have similar dating issues. 1) I have 3 kids and an ex husband, so people assume I'm straight. Nope, I just played a hetero person for years. 2) Most people I message on a dating site don't respond. So far only 1 has, and 1 started a conversation with me. I dated the first for about 2 months, and have gone out with the other about 6 times now. I am having trouble figuring out how to move things forward since she's only my second dating experience with a woman and I'm her first. 3) I KNOW I come off as awkward when I'm trying to flirt, start a conversation, or date someone. I just need someone who accepts that. Just know you're not alone. I think it gets easier in time. Or at least I hope.
I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this matter. But it sure is frustrating. Seems like the more effort I put in to meet people, the less chance I have at anything happening. I have a hard time making friends too. I deal with being shy...which I'm trying to get over. So I put myself out there. I'm not really part of the lgbt community. I don't really have any friends that are lesbian, gay, or bi (as far as I know). I would love to meet some people as friends and maybe find a girlfriend in the process. But, being bi...it feels like I'm not wanted as part of the team. I just keep finding negative stereotypes that aren't who I am but people seem to presume. Dating sites suck. I don't respond to everyone myself...but it's usually because they contact when I specifically say in my profile I'm not looking for what they want. Like...couples and people wanting just a hook-up. I say no to that right in my profile...but that's the messages I get. And my initial messages are mostly unanswered...it sucks. Thanks for your reply.
We must be on the same sites.... I mostly get ones for "being a third" or hook ups or dirty chat, etc, too even though my profile says no. I'm still hoping to find a group of lesbian friends myself, as I barely feel like I belong to LGBT either. Then when I really think of it, I have a few friends that are bi or pan, just not any lesbians. I love my bi and pan friends, but I feel like there's a piece they don't understand when it comes to certain things that makes me want a few lesbian friends as well. I'm sure if we both keep stepping out of our introvert boxes we will eventually find what we're looking for.
I'll be your friend! forums and online groups are useful in making friends. also have you tried finding lgbt groups in your area or groups of people who have similar interests? the more people you meet the more likely you are to make lgbt friends. this is my logic, I am introverted, living in a rural place and everyone somehow thinks I am straight. I hate dating apps but I actually signed up to an app called "her" in an effort to make friends, it's a very secure app and so far I haven't had any creepy messages. be certain of yourself, if people do not like who you are then they aren't the people you need.
Yeah...forums are good. I just have a hard time just randomly starting conversations with people. I wouldn't say I'm an introvert. I'm somewhere in the middle of introvert and extrovert. I'm just shy...something I'm constantly working on to get over. I always feel like I'm bugging people when I try to start conversations. I've heard of her. It's only available on iPhone....I have an android. My work cell is an iPhone...but I'm hesitant of putting it on there. All I know is that I think I'm a nice person and averagely attractive...but every time I send a message to someone they don't reapind. Maybe my 1st message sucks. I do write more than "hi"...that's something I hate people doing...so I read their profile and comment on something I learned. i have to keep trying ways to meet people.
Ok. Just spit-balling here. Are there any meetups in your area you could check out? Are you more of a follower or a leader. You can do either with meetup. How about sending out the same message to a bunch of the women on the app that says, "I'm going to the Starbucks on Main & 1st at 1:00 on Sunday. If you'd like to drop by, I'd love to meet you. I will be wearing my emoji face tie. I've invited 10 others so let's get acquainted!"
yes, it is definitely difficult to begin conversations. for me too. I am introverted but I'm severely challenged with social skills. so I find I mess it up a lot. I really like to communicate in text at first, it gives the opportunity to edit myself so that I am able to present a fair picture of who I am, rather than acting awkward in person and putting people off without them getting to know me.
I like the ability to talk via text and email too. It helps me get to know the other person better. They can't see me nevous and I have time to think before I speak...so I don't mumble my words. But then the problem is moving from text to real life meetings. I get so nervous just asking a co-worker I think seems interesting to go to lunch with me. It takes so much out of me to ask..and when they are unavailable, I don't know when I should try again...or if I even should. My mind goes on overdrive and starts thinking they said no the first time because they aren't interested...which may not even be the case. So..I think I work against myself a lot...and it sucks. I really envy those really outgoing people. I'm a funny and friendly person..but I have to warm up to people...and lots of people don't bother giving me a chance to show them...it seems.
I feel the same way many times. I'm married and poly, and I am very shy when it comes to asking people out on a date. I know a lot of poly people of all genders, and I don't have too much trouble being social, but when it comes time to ask someone on a date, I clam up. I surprised myself some time ago and asked a very sweet girl I know on a date, but she's leaving town for several months. She said she'd love to go out with me when some returns, so hey, I have an almost for sure date for some time in January, at least! (sigh)
