I posted this in coming out advice but this page might be more appropriate... I told my friend that I am trans. He is gay and we have been friends since we we were kids. He was shocked and speechless but supportive. There were tears. It felt good as I was saying it to tell the truth. I was nauseous before I called him. It went I suppose as well as it can be expected. But after I told him I didn't feel the relief that I was hoping for. I kept feeling nauseous for hours. I think I regret telling him. It is more real now I guess. No going back? I don't know. I'm feeling really conflicted. Have others had this experience after telling someone?
I don't have experience with being trans, but I had a ton of highs and lows with my coming out. Although everything went well, there were days where I eneed up feeling even more upset than before I came out. I'm pretty well past that now, though. So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will say coming out seems to never stop as there's always someone that doesn't know, and when I have to come out to someone new, I get very anxious again.
Jjanon, You made such a huge step, good for you!! I think your feelings are totally normal. I felt this way as well sometimes after coming out. The anxiety and raw emotional feelings are totally understandable considering how vulnerable and exposed coming out makes you. But in my experience, relief and confidence start to grow and grow. It certainly is more real, but I think you'll find eventually that that is a source of comfort and confidence rather than anxiety. It just takes time and similar repeated experiences to get there. Big hugs, you're doing great!! (*hug*)
I agree with baristajedi, you are really doing great Jjanon!! I also got more anxious right after I came out to people I am close to instead of feeling instant relief like I had expected to. I think it was because I was afraid that it would change how they saw me deep down. That didn't happen of course and I am almost entirely over that now (aside from some random things, like my mug episode the other day :lol because no one has treated me any differently. Like baristajedi said, I am feeling relief and my confidence has actually grown now. So give yourself time and give your friend time to show that it isn't going to change your friendship in any way.
Congrats on telling him! That takes a lot of guts. Your reaction is totally normal. I often get an emotional hangover from revealing this thing that feels so personal and intimate. People push this idea that coming out will be this magical moment and that everything will suddenly get better, but that's not always the case. Coming out is hard and opens the door to a bunch of new steps, and that can be really intimidating. It doesn't mean it's the wrong decision though, just that you're still processing it. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. I think you'll feel better with things once you've had time to get used to the idea of being out.
