My husband and I will be in San Diego next month. I'm so damn desperate for female contact, thinking of hiring an escort just to make out with me. $500 an hour. Part of me still wonders if I'm truly bi and that this will be the way to really find out without the emotional attachment of finding someone in real life. Ugh. So conflicted on whether or not this is the right thing to do.
Is it something you have discussed with your husband? The idea in of itself is as appropriate as you think it is for yourself. No other opinion should matter to you but your own.
Hey Cali I decided I really needed to be sure I was bi before I came out to my wife. What if it was just some obsession? So, I set up a hookup. I had pretty much decided not to cheat but I met the guy anyway. ZERO attraction...nada...nothing. Proves I was straight right?...Not even close. I just met another hookup yesterday for a platonic outing. Guy totally turns me on. Not. Straight. If you feel nothing from the escort it doesn't mean you're straight. And, the excitement of such an encounter could give you the false feeling that you were attracted to her and not the "danger". You know deep down that you are attracted to women. Go with that feeling at the base of your gut! That said...if you are looking for fun and not a science experiment...then that's a different deal!
He isn't objecting as long as it's making out. I don't think I could have sex with her; I'm struggling with, "Am I even bi?" and hoping this could solve it one way or another. I've noticed that when I fantasize about being with a women, I close my eyes and put my head down. It even seeps into my fantasies. Always, I close my eyes and put my head down before I think of a girl kissing me. My husband caught me doing it the other day and he told me I looked like a little girl who just got in trouble for spilling her juice. I guess I still have a lot of issues about this. It feels desperate to hire an escort, yet I don't want to drag anyone into the situation with me where I feel very confused. I feel so stuck in an awful limbo of confusion. Thank you for your reply and kind words ---------- Post added 10th Jul 2016 at 07:04 PM ---------- Thank you, Nick. When I get that spark of something else with a woman, it's deep and intense. Nothing like I've felt for a man. Yet I wonder if it's only so alluring because I can't ever have those women I have longed for. And I hate being in limbo, unsure. I'm glad you shared your story; makes me feel normal. Decisions, decisions...
Well, as long as you and your husband have trust in the matter; and have spoken about it then you should be fine.
I'm with Nick, you should trust what you are feeling in your gut. You are attracted to women and men both. You are bi. If it helps at all, I've never had sex with a guy, but I'm sure I'm bi. The attraction is always happening, the fantasies, etc. For both women and men. I'm definitely bi. Embracing it has been very helpful, very comforting to me. We're all different, but I thought I'd offer that in case it helps at all.(*hug*)
I don't think an escort is the right thing to do. I belive for most people, especially women, attraction and passion comes only with feelings. I don't say you have to fall in love, but you have to at least like the person and also know that the other person likes you too. You can't expect that from an escort.. The crucial part of any encounter for me is the feeling other person wants me, likes me, that I am special. I can't imagine to get the right feeling with someone who does it just because I'm paying him/her..
