So I told my husband that I'm gay, rather than the label I've been using for a while, queer. We talked about what that label means to me, how I feel about the missing pieces in all of the relationships I've been in. I told him I wasn't sure our marriage could work, but am wanting to think a bit more a bit about it. I cried a bit, he was supportive, held my hand and listened. He still said he had a "plan" to make our marriage work :eusa_doh: Our next step right now is to go to a couples counsellor and use that space to explore how we think we might both be happiest as individuals, to explore whether staying married allows us to have fulfilment or whether getting separated would give us fuller, richer lives. This is really the part that I think has been my biggest source of concern, jumping off of this cliff, and scrapping this whole life we've built together. So here we go...
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)Congratulations! That was incredibly brave of you and it sounds like the right step you needed to take. You give me so much hope for the future. Did it feel liberating To share the new label with your spouse? Or is it still too soon for you to take stock?
Wow...That is amazing to hear! Congrats for such a big step. I can't imagine it yet for myself but your posts have been really inspirational...Thanks for posting.
Thanks both of you, Jjannon and maybgayguy for the warm words and congrats. I'm not feeling particularly happy overall about it right now, I'm so happy to embrace my identity, that feels right and good. It was freeing telling my husband as well. I felt very open and confident saying it and my heart felt lighter for a bit. But right now my heart feels pretty heavy and I'm feeling a bit low. I know in the long run all the steps I'm making are leading me to the right place. But at this moment I feel a bit heavy hearted st the thought of where my marriage is likely headed. I'll get through it, I just have to accept that there will be difficult times to come and it's not s happy part of this journey.
Congratulations on coming out to your husband! He is probably still in denial about what it means that you are gay and I think it is a really good thing that you are going to see a marriage counselor. I don't think any marriage counselor would suggest you stay together if that feels like something you can't do, in which case it will hopefully help him come to terms with it and also help you get over some guilt and other difficult feelings you are having right now. (*hug*)
Congratulations! I admire your bravery. I can understand your feelings. I'm not there yet, but the potential consequences with regard to my partner and daughter are the one thing I really don't like to think about. But, I'm sure you'll handle it really well. Easier said than done, but remember that you need to think about what's best for you too. One of my neighbors once told me about a couple, where the wife wanted to separate, but the husband refused, saying they'd stay together for the children and just sleep in separate bedrooms, etc. My neighbor seemed to think he'd done the right thing, but I don't think it can be pleasant environment to grow up in. I could also do with taking my own advice.
Barista, al these posts have actually made start questioning whether or not I'm even bi/pan, and not just plain old gay.....I'm confused again.
