[To be sung to the tune of "Call Me Maybe"]: I remember seeing you and well, What's the secret of your youth, do tell, I think for you in a sec I fell, And, thank god, you're single and gay! I'd trade my Broadway posters for a wish, All my heady fantasies for a real kiss, Life with you will probably be eternal bliss, And, goodness, you're single and gay! Your eyes like embers were glowing, Through your shirt your pecs were showing, Inside me a storm was brewing, Where do you think I was going to swipe, baby? Hey, I just found your profile, And this is crazy. But here's my thoughtful conversation-opener, So, fall for me, maybe! It's hard to look at you, Without fantasizing, baby! So here's my second message, Reply to me, maybe! You seem to take your time, I'll bawl, Should I just move in with you and bring my U-Haul? You are giving me nothing at all, But still, you're single and gay! I'd rob and pillage and steal, I'm that attracted to you, yes, it's real, If some attraction, for me, I could make you feel, Then hurray, for you're single and gay! Your hair in this picture is blowing, Were you, in this shot, doing some mowing? We should totally go canoeing, Let me send you some emojis, baby! Hey, I've been on your profile for a while now, And this is crazy. But here's my woof/like/star/thumbs up, So, fall for me, maybe! It's hard to look at you, Without harmonizing, baby! So here's a nice compliment, Reply to me (come on!), maybe! Before you popped up on my screen, My life was so rad. My life was also sad. My life was rad sad mad. But now that you're not replying to me, I'm feeling so bad. I think I've been had. And you should know that! It's hard to look at you, You think you're so hot, baby? Well, don't expect any attention from me! Unless you want to...call me maybe?
