I've given this a great deal of thinking but I can't figure it out. Unfortunately all of my friends are straight (they are accepting me but they're still straight), so there's no one to ask. Finally, after a looot of thinking, I decided to ask you what you think about that behavior. I know this guy for a few years but only recently our mutual friends told him I have a thing for him. And here's the weird part that - when they told him he came to me and said he was a homophobe with a very Grimm expression on his face, so I left him alone. That happened in March. However, last Friday he contacted me and asked me whether I'm gonna be on my best friend's birthday. I said I would, after all I was invited. He didn't say anything. At the party he seemed a lot more open to conversation and not only. Seemed like he was looking for physical contact but only as a friendly hug. He also, supposedly carelessly, took off his t-shirt. Needless to say what effect it had on me and on the other "me" "downstairs"... Late night, after the party, I made a deal with my best friend for a sleepover under the condition I'll help them (my best friend and his girlfriend) to clean the apartment. Then the boy in question asked me to talk to my best friend whether he can sleepover as well. The party ended 3 hours before the urban transport starts working, so I assumed he wanted to save some money instead of giving it to a taxi company. Since my friend's apartment doesn't have enough beds for everyone, we agreed one of us will have to sleep on the ground (on a very thick mattress). Since I'm accustomed to sleeping on a hard surface, I took the ground and the object of my desires took the couch. Then he, completely aware I was there looking at him, he took off all of his clothes, except for the underwear and lied down on the couch. At some point he went on the terrace to some a cigarette and called me to keep him company. Here it's summer time, so we both went on the terrace wearing only underwear. Idk for what reason but he told me (out of the blue - is that the right idiom?) that his tool is 8.3 inches long. That simply finished me and I can't sleep normally for a week already, I just can't get that image out of my mind. Now, a week later he keeps asking me to go out with him for a drink but I keep saying no cuz I have a C# exam on Sunday and I gotta prep myself for it, so for the moment we maintain contact through Facebook and a lot of the text messages of his contain many smiles. I can keep telling you everything he does but it will take too long. But the point is that his entire behavior is weird. Kinda like he wants me but doesn't know how to tell me and yet sometimes does exactly the opposite and behaves like a homophobe. The latter I know for sure he is not. Cuz a homophobe wouldn't smoke a cigarette half naked next to another half naked guy who also happens to have a crush on the "homophobe". So I'm asking you - what do you think about that behavior of his? Should I hope for something more or is he just teasing me? I could ask him directly but somehow I doubt he'd give me a straight answer.
You'll have another chance, for sure, to ask him. The first one you missed when he was choking down that cigarette, in his underwear on the terrace with a gay guy. So what do you ask him? When he tells you how ample the equipment is, or something similar, just look at him (in the eyes, remember) and ask, "You're teasing me, aren't you?" It wouldn't hurt to smile. Or you could try something more bold, such as "Such a tease, don't start anything you don't want to finish." I don't think he's teasing you. I think maybe he's reconsidering the concept. Of course, if he is teasing you it says he has more than ample self-esteem.
I dunno. I'd be very cautious in this type of situation and protect myself. I also wouldn't expect very much, not saying that you are. Just be sure to take things slow, don't get in over your head, and be careful. Sorry, I was in a confusing situation and it absolutely broke my heart.
The other thing I'd worry about is if he is baiting you. Like he's trying to get you to make a pass at him, so he can prove how gay guys go after everyone or something stupid like that. I'm a very weary person.
Great story!!! I'd be careful, and not expect alot, because it's unpredictable. However, I'd meet him for a drink. I have a close gay friend, who really liked a straight married guy he knew. Well... they're married now. The guy left his wife. You can never tell. But reading your story, I'd go out with him, but don't have alot of expectations that your fantasy will come true. You're better off that way, playing a little disinterested. You protect yourself, and it could make him come towards you.
I was thinking of meeting him for a drink too. If nothing else, we'll waste some spare time. Or, if he drinks too much, I might get lucky cuz alcohol has this effect to people. Only I'm not sure what you mean by "protecting myself", BeingDude.
Is he nice to you, and does he seem like a nice guy generally? Sometimes something like this can make people reassess themselves, maybe he's curious, or he's discovered something about himself. Just because he once said he was homophobic doesn't mean you should write him off. But I would be wary. Meet him for a drink, see how things go. Get to know him a bit better. Keep checking your instincts too. It could be to bolster his self-confidence, it could be a trick. I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up too much.
Wow!! OMG!! Yeah this is tricky. I would go out for drinks with this guy and play it cool. Let him show his hand (as if you were playing cards) or intentions. I would as someone said just act a little disinterested. Lol.. although that's easier said than done when you are crushing badly. Would be interested in an update
Could be that, but that doesn't mean it still can't work out your way. I'm terrible at the moment, my newfound acceptance of my sexuality is causing me to be flirty or at least to show interest in every gay/bi guy I talk to, whether I'm actually interested or not. And I've been making sure my housemate sees me wearing skimpy or body-showing clothing, and generally trying to appear sexy - and I think it's all something to do with trying to boost confidence, and its not healthy... The good part of that (for you at least) is that my doing this has made me start to have real feelings for my housemate. So it could still work out for you. For me however, things just got really weird really quickly when my housemate declared his attraction to me - I could only respond very honestly and openly, and lovingly, that I also felt "something - confusion mostly" but that it wasn't a good idea and its not going to happen. Of course, now I can't get him off my mind! What to do? Sorry, realised I've somewhat topic-hijacked here. Oh well, it may be relevant somehow..
