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More and more confusion

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by LostInDaydreams, Jul 18, 2016.

  1. LostInDaydreams

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    I've got a couple things that have been causing me confusion over the last few days, and I'll try to keep it short.

    First, I've come across a lot of stuff over the last few days about how it's perfectly normal for straight women to be turned on by other women and not find men particularly physically attractive. I've not been searching for it, I've just happened to come across it. So, where does it start to become not straight? In the will/desire to act on it?

    Secondly, do you think it's possible to be put off men? My relationship is not horrendous, but it's not fantastic either. Is it possible that I've been put off by some negative experiences?

    These might be silly questions. I do feel like I need to get a grip. Any thoughts appreciated.
     
    #1 LostInDaydreams, Jul 18, 2016
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  2. HappyGirlLucky

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    Wait, straight women get turned on by other women and don't find men physically attractive? Where have you come across that? That does not sound very straight to me, especially if they actually get turned on by other women (and not just find them beautiful). Then again, 35% of women in Finland reported being bisexual in 2015 and this number is rising rapidly (over half of the younger generation of girls and women are bi), so perhaps all women are actually a little gay? :lol:

    My straight friends do find men physically attractive, and they do find women beautiful but from what I know they have no desire to sleep with any.

    As for your second question, I do think it is possible to be put off men. My mother did that when she was in her late 20s after several bad relationships. As far as I know she can still find men physically attractive and it did not make her attracted to women either, she just decided men are not worth her time and has stayed single since. :slight_smile:
     
  3. LostInDaydreams

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    Thanks for your reply. I knew it sounded odd, but I'm easily confused at the moment. It was on what's primarily a parenting forum, but has sections for discussing everything (i.e. relationships, sex, etc.).
     
  4. HappyGirlLucky

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    That definitely sounds odd, maybe you ran into some closeted bi/gay women? I said all sorts of weird things when I thought I was straight and thought everyone felt like I did. I told my ex for example that guys in speedos are really gross and need to put some clothes on or at least wear swimming trunks, because no one wants to see that. :eusa_doh: (Still not fully convinced people actually like it lol!)

    I can see how running into people saying things like that would be super confusing during the questioning stage. I am really poor at giving a good point of view here because I always thought no one actually found men attractive. It is part of what kept me in the closet because I had read that a lot of women seem to be "demisexual", and perhaps this is where the whole "don't find men physically attractive" thing comes from? But I have never heard that straight women get turned on by other women, that sounds pretty... Unusual? Not that I mind at all if they do! :slight_smile:

    I was very confused when I found out people actually like certain parts on men. I still have no idea what's supposed to be so attractive about a man's butt or any of that stuff. Besides, what butt? Women have butts, men have weird flat squares! :lol:
     
    #4 HappyGirlLucky, Jul 18, 2016
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  5. LostInDaydreams

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    Maybe. To be fair, a lot of them were referencing porn and erotica. I don't know, but I've read porn's not a very good indicator.

    I think you might be right. I've seen some men in a very tight jeans recently, and I can't believe that anyone would find that attractive. Also, walking around shirtless anywhere when it's sunny - Who wants to look at hairy backs?

    Somebody once said to me 'Who wouldn't want to look at men's bodies?', and even though I knew she was straight, I was surprised by her enthusiasm.

    This what confuses me though. I used to quite like my partners shoulders, as they're quite broad. It's not something I noticed for weeks, so I'm sure whether or not it was forced. I think it may have been more they look good in that shirt, than I want to touch them.
     
  6. HappyGirlLucky

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    Ooh, there is actually a study that shows that women get aroused by seeing almost any sexual activity (including sex between apes) no matter their orientation. I have heard of a lot of lesbians watching (M/M) gay porn too, and they tend to say they like how it's more sensual than lesbian porn. Not really into porn myself, so I don't know how that works.

    This made me laugh out loud! :lol: Too true!!

    Yes, there are different ways of liking someone's physique so it really depends on how you liked them. Like I can find a man to be good looking, but there is nothing sexual about it for me. :slight_smile:
     
  7. LostInDaydreams

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    I actually used to read a lot of slash (M/M) fanfiction in my teens. :icon_redf It was all written by women, so there might be something in that. I never looked at the femslash (F/F) because I didn't think that I should.

    Yes, I don't really have any desire to touch men's bodies. When I have done, I've had to really think about it, and I don't really get anything out of it.
     
  8. Katchoo

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    When I was closeted to myself, I talked to myself like that to keep from coming out to myself, and during my ex-gay ministry phase, talking to myself like that was part of how I tried to convince myself I was not all the way gay, or whatever. I would tell myself that all women found other women beautiful, because women are simply the more beautiful sex, and I had heard lots of women talking about how they don't exactly want to look at dick. I think these were the same women who preferred reading erotica to watching porn, cuz they just weren't very visually turned on the way I am with women. I mean, maybe I held on to that because there is a grain of truth to it. Like, straight women can recognize when other women are conventionally attractive. But, that doesn't mean they want to eat their pussies or motorboat them or whatever. And, even if some ladies are more emotionally turned on by men than visually turned on by men, straight women seem to have these responses to guys with strong arms or whatever, and I just don't have those responses.
     
  9. LostInDaydreams

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    Thanks for your reply, Katchoo.

    To a point, I think that this is true, as you say. From my experience, straight women don't seem to think anything of pointing out beautiful women, but for me it's always been a bit awkward.

    This made me laugh. :icon_bigg