Any advice? I'd really like to have kids, but at this point on my whole coming-out "journey," I can barely flirt with another guy, and I certainly don't belong to what gay community may belong here. Realistically, it won't be for a few years before I can get to move to an actual city, and I'm watching the clock pretty closely. I can't see myself going through learning how to date, actually dating, finding someone for a long-term partnership, and adopting a kid or two for a few years. Thanks
Well, first of all, I hope you are keeping an open mind with respect to who you could meet...it could happen later, it could happen tomorrow. There is a saying that chance favors a prepared mind, so do prepare, have a loose idea of what kind of guy you are looking for. I don't know where you are other than it's not an actual city, but you would be surprised, you may find someone local, and the internet helps in that respect. Worth a try. The only criteria I can think of with regard to one's age and kids is that you should be healthy, have stamina, and that you will still have a chance of being reasonably healthy with stamina until the kids reach at least 25 years of age. Other than that, I'd say the sky's the limit! And if your eventual partner is somewhat younger, all the better!
To me, the age issue about having kids has always been more in regards to women and specifically if they're having their own kids. After age 36 or so, it becomes increasingly more risky to give birth. As guys, we don't have the same issues. Though I definitely agree with greatwhale that you want to be healthy and active enough to keep up with the child. But that still leaves plenty of time!
Yeah, and it kind of depends on how you plan to have kids. There may not be an issue at all with age if you use a surrogate. International adoption often has an age cap depending on the country, and it also tends to discriminate against same sex couples. On average, infant adoption is hard if you look old, because reletively young birth parents pick the families for their child. Adopting from foster care would probably not discriminate against age, unless you are like over 75 and want like a toddler.
I don't think it really matters unless you are a woman having biological kids, or a 80 year old who doesn't have much time left to raise them properly. It just might be hard to adopt in general, like the above poster said.
I guess it also depends on the age of the kid(s) you are thinking of adopting, but really, I agree with the above posters in that the "age limit" on having kids usually refers to women giving birth, which, as CameOutSwinging said, gets more and more dangerous for us when we reach our late thirties. I doubt that an adoption agency would be too prejudiced about age, but again, the age of the child may be relevant.
Mick Jagger is giving people hope! I'm stupid. My real answer is that it depends upon you and your partner assuming a pregnancy doesn't happen by accident. Use caution, be safe, and just be yourself.