I LOVE looking at women they are so beautiful, feminine and sensual. But lately, more and more I am realizing I am fully gay, and I have never been sexually attracted to women. I don't why I like looking at women, but I also know a lot of women's fashion designers were gay men. In the last few weeks, I felt whatever I tried to convince myself about really being straight is slipping away, and I feel a sadness. Even if I struggle with accepting being gay, I have to accept that I am just not sexually aroused by women, and I feel a sadness about it. I feel even if I 100% accept that I am gay I would still feel sad about this; the same way someone might be on the baseball team and really love it but misses being on the tennis team. Anyone else feel like this?
I think that's the artsy side of being gay. The appreciation of beauty without the desire to be with those people.
I know but it makes me feel sad... why can't I 'enjoy' it - wasn't a lot of female beauty 'made ' to attract men? I guess I just feel like some part of me 'doesn't work' if that makes any sense.
I think I understand this feeling. For me, I feel like I've been (mostly) wired up the wrong way. I know this is because I feel that I should be into men, have been taught that I should be, etc. I don't feel sad about it though, because I've never really understood what the big fuss about guys was.
Hi I don't think its because I was 'taught' I just really find women beautiful I love womens fashion and feminine things. But i have no desire to be a woman, and now as I slowly begin to accept being gay, I realize I have no desire for sex with them. It's like a beauty that I just can't be part of. I am slowly really beginning to accept that I am gay, and I guess I feel a little sad because I know I have to say goodbye to the hope that I will every really be attracted to women. It's like longing for something in the past. Like thinking about something you wanted to do in high school but didn't and the time has passed.
OK. I'm not sure that I relate, but I understand what you mean. It's goof that you're working on acceptance.
I relate to what you describe 'the process of grieving ' perfectly normal I would say ... For me it's been part of my acceptance and apart from 'telling some people I feel worried about ' it was the last bit of acceptance to come .. All of a sudden ( or not as is really the case ) I wasn't the women I had 'portrayed myself to be ' all of a sudden I was cut out of a whole world which is known .... I get it quote' goodbye to the hope that I will ever be attracted to women ' I wonder ( and this just a slant on it ) if it's some of societies views that you have taken on ... I know for me I went through a realisation that some of my thoughts were not actually mine but learnt attitudes from society ... You say 'wasn't a lot of female beauty designed for men ' I'm interested to know what you mean by this ... For me my beauty is because it is not because it's made for someone else ... And I as a now gay women appreciate male and female beauty .. I'm only just now allowing myself to look at women and admire them sexually but I have always seen the beauty in both sexes or when you say beauty do u mean sexual attraction
Thanks I feel it's one of the last pieces of the puzzle to figure out. As I slowly, slowly accept I am gay I just see it fading away. I mean curvy hips, nice butt, breasts, wasn't it evolution making women look fertile=attractive to men so the species could continue. I just wonder why this bit of wiring is missing from me. I find a sexy woman sensual but I realize I look at her as a straight woman might- admiring beauty but not 'turned on'... or I guess I look at her... as a gay man might? Yes, but there can be both in one feature - dont' straight guys find a curvy woman sexy? I find them sensual and beautiful but its more like a sensual object I guess.. now... I realize. ... wow I think i just 'got it' responding to you I find them sensual but like objects that might enhance my sensuality but they are like candles at a romantic dinner, they are not what i want to consume
That's kinda how a lot of straight people(especially women) think of the same sex. Nice to look at, aesthetically pleasing, even sensual, but they don't have any desire to actually have sex with them. At least not beyond a bit of curiosity at least.
Thanks... in a weird way, my final block to accepting that I am fully gay is actually not a block but proof.
