How much do you think about your sexuality?

Lol, yes! I totally resonate with your post.

I feel like over the last 3 or 4 weeks, I am able to at least think about work more, whereas in like April and May I really couldn't. Got into risk of getting fired territory. But, yeah. During most of my down time or neutral time, I think about it a LOT.

I think over time this will get to be less and more manageable, just like a regular part of life.

 

Same here, and with a similar time frame too. In April and May I couldn't even sleep because of it. :lol: But now it is quite manageable and I am beginning to feel almost back to normal.

 

I think about it a lot. Like Katchoo, it was pretty bad for a while to the point where I was less than productive at work. It's getting better though. I still think about it, but it's not always a lingering thing. If I'm sitting around doing nothing, or something that doesn't require a ton of concentration, I'll tend to think deeper about it. But if I'm at work, or doing something that requires more attention, it'll mostly be a fleeting thought. Like just a reminder "Hey, your bi" or something like that every once in a while.

I can definitely see it getting better over time. I certainly think about it less, overall, than I did a few months ago...

 

I think it's a typical part of the process of accepting yourself and coming out. It's on my mind quite a bit still, but not as obsessively as it was 6 weeks ago. The more comfortable I come to be with myself, the less I think about it. Still quite a bit right now, though.

 

I think this is what all of us who have responded are noticing/experiencing.

 

I just came out and I feel like it's all I can think about.

 

I had a year of hell, and eventually horrible two months before I finally admitted I like men to myself.

 

Rarely. I have sexual thoughts but am rarely consciously thinking about the very fact that I'm gay.

 

Sometimes I am doing just regular things, and there is a little voice in my head just labeling the activities as lesbian. Lesbian cookie baking. Gay toilet cleaning. Bedtime routine, as performed by a gay person. Lesbian teeth brushing. The way that a lesbian loads the dishwasher. I'm gayly doing my gay documentation for work. This is a lesbian house.

And sometimes the homophobic voice in my head chimes in, too, like imagining people outside my life looking in. Sneering, "There's that *lesbian* house. Disgusting." I know there is no one actually standing in front of my house disgusted at my orientation. Makes me sad that voice is in my head, though.

 

Well, given that the homophobic voice saying who I am is wrong was so loud echoing in the closet for years, I consider it progress that it's a little voice, almost , like it's outside rather than right by my ear. But, it seems wise to be aware that it's still hanging around. I'd rather notice it and call it out than pretend it isn't there.

 

As I have been coming out, it is on my mind constantly, and not just the temptations and attractions I always have had. I think it is all in part with being comfortable with being a gay man.

 

I think it's totally normal... it echoes my experience, for sure!

I didn't find it possible to stuff the feelings back into the void. Once they were here, they were here. I remember being really afraid of what would happen if I let myself experience the attractions and feelings I was having... I made quite a few efforts to squish them down, but that ended up hurting just as much or more than actually letting myself experience them.

The more I've let emotions/attractions/acceptance in, the less they hurt. However, the knowledge that I'm bisexual is still pretty much constantly on my mind.

This is sooo how it goes for me sometimes... it's lessening, but when I first came out to myself, I did EVERYTHING bisexually. Haha. Bisexual vacuuming. Bisexual dinner preparation. Bisexual driving. Most of the time, these chores included crying. I'm *still* quite aware of being bisexual---way more than I remember focusing on my orientation before I came out to myself---but the tears have subsided and it feels more natural. Someone once joked on here when I brought this up by asking if bisexual vacuuming involved a lot of glitter. I've got to say, life feels a lot more glittery now than it did then.

I'm sorry you have to deal with those voices, Katchoo. I did, too. Thankfully, this has gone away (mostly). Therapy really helped. What helped most was having people to talk to who understood what I was going through, and support from people I love. And, EC. Anyway, I hope you continue to find support and help so that this voice you hear goes away!(*hug*)

 

I am this way too. and I know it's just an expression but I do feel if I keep going back and forth and feeling these strong emotions is that I'll become unstable. Literally at one point I started shaking and had to sit down. The first time I typed 'I am gay' here my hands were shaking.

I really feel I have to 'decide' and work with that decision.

That's what I wanted to do as well. Occupy my mind with something else and come back to it.

 

I totally relate to this. When I get time to myself I am thinking about it. Im doing a lot of questioning right now though so I think it's normal. Since I've identified as Bi since I was 18 I've definetly went through periods of thinking about it a lot and sometimes not so much. And definetly periods of feeling more gay.