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For those who have fully accepted youselves, is the 'promise' real?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by findingjoy, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. findingjoy

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    When I first came here, my hands trembled as I typed the words "I am gay" even on a (I hope! :grin:) totally anon message board, it felt so liberating, I felt so happy, I felt such a rush of emotions.

    Is it just creating a fantasy world? Look this is LGBT Later in Life[/I] I know life isn't going to turn into pink unicorns and magic castles, I know I will still be sad, happy depressed, mad, angry and maybe even doubting... I know it's going to be tough coming out, admitting it to people but the rush of emotion tells me I am going to be overall happier...

    for those who have fully accepted themselves. Is the promise of that rush of emotion real?

    I know I can only answer this myself but what have you experienced?
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    The rush of emotions that you are feeling is probably your denial beginning to thaw and release. You've spent a long time convincing yourself that you are not gay (and that do you don't want to be gay either), so the rush of emotions is your body's way of releasing your denial, at least that was my experience.

    Life will be totally amazing once you get to a point where you can accept and love yourself as a gay man. Your emotions will stabilize to what they were before coming out, except you'll no longer have to pay the tax of being in denial, which frees your energy up for living life to the fullest. When you fall in love, you'll go "wow, this is what I've been missing. Life will be much better because you are living in alignment with your sexual orientation.
     
  3. findingjoy

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    Thanks SF. I that's what I am hoping. I am going to miss some dreams I am letting going of, but I know I am gay, I know I am in denial. I am literally becoming exhausted physically and mentally fighting it, and now I just want to accept it. I know its coming.
     
  4. SiennaFire

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    In 2016 there is no reason why your dreams can't come true as a gay man; simply make the appropriate gender substitution in your goals.
     
  5. findingjoy

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    I need new dreams, honestly appropriate gender substation sounds like a vegetarian who really doesn't want be one having a vegie 'hamburger' accepting and being gay is going to be different. If i try to make my new gay life a vision of being straight but with a man i'll just be frustrating myself and never be satisfied because I will always be comparing it.
     
    #5 findingjoy, Jul 23, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2016
  6. SiennaFire

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    I made assumptions about your dreams. If your dreams were to marry a woman and start a family, then there's no reason that you can't marry a man and start a family.
     
    #6 SiennaFire, Jul 23, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2016
  7. findingjoy

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    No worries..but am I beginning to sound like a gay guy who knows what he wants :grin:
     
  8. Katchoo

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    Dammit, I want my pink unicorn and magic castle...
     
  9. ConsciousRose42

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    Yay freedom ✨✨
    Being in your light is the best freedom ✨✨
     
  10. Highlander2

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    Yes, totally. It's like discovering that the irritating, buzzing, distracting feeling you've had all your life, that you could never really put your finger on (even when you physically turned your head to stare at the hot guy in shorts that just walked past...:rolle:slight_smile:, has gone and you realise that's what it was all the time. It's like finding the damned stone in your shoe that's been annoying the hell out of you for miles.

    I'm rapidly moving through to a stage where I am completely comfortable greeting my date with a full on kiss, on the street, arms around him and hold his hand or wrap my arm around his waist as we go for dinner; hold hands on the tube as we sit together or let our arms and legs just stay close.

    And the best thing is - in 3 years so far, I've not had one negative comment from anyone.
     
  11. OnTheHighway

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    Look, each of us have a unique journey, I do believe the best chance of finding happiness is to be authentic with yourself and accept whom you are. For me, it has been a wonderful experience although there will always be highs and lows given everything lode throws at you.

    I do have have friends, whom are out and have accepted themselves, yet have not fully embraced their sexuality. Shame and internalized homophobia continue to plague some of these friends, and that leads them on a road for continued challenges and unease.

    The first step is about accepting yourself. But there is so much more work you need to do on yourself to find the peace and happiness we all seek. Self acceptance is not the end of the journey, it's just the first chapter.
     
  12. findingjoy

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    do you have it? what is keeping you from it?