Can't stop dreaming about men.

I can't say I feel exactly the same way, but alls I find myself thinking about is men, not that women aren't beautiful, but it's stuck in my head. I just came out fully to my wife last Friday and were still figuring out our next step/s, so you have had a bit more time. But you need to talk to her more about it before you act without thinking and do something u regret.

 

Many factors that could be possible. Maybe you like men & women but lean more towards men sexually? Maybe you lean towards women more emotionally? As long as you love your wive then just treat her right. Don't do anything reckless to ruin the relationship. Talk with her about it. If she feels uncomfortable about an open relationship don't do it. Try to come to an agreement that can help both parties.

I know what you mean. Last erotic dreams I had were with other men. Some men are tasty. But again, talk to your wife about it. I wish y'all the best and further happiness.

 

Godless

It seems to me you are in a big hurry to figure out and define what you are. Take some deep breaths here. You have a wife to consider too.

You may be gay, bi, pan, straight. But, you really need to understand what you REALLY feel deep inside. This takes some work. I don't recall if you have a therapist. But, again, I cannot over-emphasis how important this is in understanding your sexuality.

I agree with both Stewie and Purplewolf. Your desires seem to be pretty amped up now. This is when guys like us make mistakes. So, be really careful and considerate of your wife and don't do something that will complicate everything. Talk to your wife, calm down and try to separate the sexual impulses from the deeper feelings.

 

This intense desires to be with a guy culminate from years of not identifying with your sexuality (whether his gay, bi, poly or some other). It certainly sounds like your mind and body want to act on it.

I am not a proponent of acting on your thoughts without the open knowledge of your spouse, yet I know others have done just that. Maybe a discussion about opening up the relationship to enable you to experiment might be in order. And simply be truthful. Explain the torment your going through and the need to find resolution to the questions you have about ourself.

Be transparent, open and honest. Make yourself vulnerable with your spouse. You may be positively surprised at the outcome.

 

Godless. These are not "straight" impulses that you are talking about. There is nothing, necessarily, gay about anal stimulation. It is when you want a guy doing it to you that is. This does not mean you are gay. You could be bi-curious or bi. Good to see you are not planning on cheating because it complicates things. But, you are going to need to understand your sexuality. To do that, you may need to accept that you could be gay. If you cannot except this possibility, you will just come up with all sorts of reasons it can't be true instead. What worked for me was to look myself in the mirror and say "if I was gay would I be O.K. with it". The answer was no for a lot of years growing up and I think that kept me from accepting that I was bi.

Have you looked into therapy?

 

Godless

It IS normal to want dudes and perfectly O.K. And, if you are bisexual, as I am, you can be happily married in a monogamous relationship with your wife. But, I will say that these, unsatisfied, same sex urges mayl become, ridiculously, stronger when you reach middle age as a number of posters here can attest.

I wish I would have been more open about my sexuality for years. I don't think it would have involved sex outside my marriage with guys. It is only recently that I think my wife and I recognize that this is not jeopardizing our marriage. I just believe that allowing myself to feel gay, and express it, would have been so much better in most aspects of my life. Don't sweep it under the rug.

 

Dude, I am going through the same thing. Do buy a realy nice life like dildo. It will change your life. Possibly gradually work it into the bedroom with her. You will get you craving out and not destroy your family.

 

Here's my opinion for what it's worth:
There are just so many possibilities regarding human sexuality and the sooner we become tolerant of them, the sooner we will all start getting along.
Me personally? 100 percent gay...physically, emotionally and romantically attracted to men only. I have no such feelings for women. I did go through a denial period but finally grew out of that. Those that say it's a choice have no idea and are completely wrong. There is no choosing involved whatsoever.