So for at least now, I feel as if a cloud has sort of lifted a bit and I see things more clearly and calmly. I met with a newish friend last night, and it was just what I needed. She's been through all of this, coming out while married with kids. And now a good amount of time has passed and she's happy, her kids are happy and her ex is happy. We talked about all of the challenges, fears, everything. It was nice to tell my story, and to remind me of my own sense of self and my motivations for what I need to do. It sounds weird to say this but something about saying it all outloud made me feel more in touch with my feelings again. The numbness and cloudiness has sort of evaporated. The core of it is that feeling of knowing me, that I'm gay, that my needs as a gay woman are important and being authentic and true to who I am is a very important part of my life. And thinking about how I as a mother can make hard choices that provide my daughter a better kind of security and stability. I feel like I can do this...
I'm so glad you have made this friend. Super good. It makes such a difference to have an understanding and supportive person witness your experience. You can do this. You and your daughter are going to be ok.
Thanks everybody! :icon_bigg It really does mean a lot to find this kind of support. I feel so much clearer.
