Just wanted to come in and say that after a year of turmoil and all, I've come out as bi though more into dudes to a close friend when I was drunk. It was a good decision. And also to a few other people at random events when my sexuality came up. I have to say coming out to a close friend is much harder, but also rewarding. It feel much better now. Whereas before it was like this massive pressure wound that opened and blood was gushing. That feeling has stopped. I feel like the blood is now in a pool below surface. I suppose that this is what initial acceptance feels like. Still haven't had any same sex experiences. When I'm feeling good about myself I let myself watch some same sex porn. I'm more able to accept that this is a part of me as opposed to a raging dragon that was gonna devour my existence as it initially felt. Beginning of assimilation into the ego. The best advice I can give to anyone in panic mode, just give yourself some time - You don't have to do anything, all you have to do is to learn to be okay with yourself and not to judge. Your own acceptance and pace is key.
Congrats! I have to agree that telling a friend is hard to do , I told a lesbian friend that I like guys and she almost crashed her truck I do not recommend tell them while they are driving lol She told me that she never thought I would have said that to her she never picked up on me being gay . But she was really happy for me and extremely supportive for sure.
