I'm pretty past my questioning phase and feeling like a happily, semi-out queer chick, but I can't deny that the person who made me question my sexuality was insanely manipulative. Not in a bratty way - in a way that she matched up to traits of a narcissist, potentially a sociopath, and I've been told by a professional that she sounds like she has a personality disorder. I'm not a therapist, and she never came to therapy with me, but there was something extremely off about her the entire time we were doing our whatever we were doing, and what she did most definitely fit the definition of gaslighting: off the charts forward flirting, almost kissing, talking about us being in a relationship, constant communication - and then telling me she didn't have any romantic feelings toward me. This isn't my issue. I take rejection pretty well, but there's a nagging little voice that's like, "if she didn't flirt with you and start that crap, would you be queer right now?" The only thing I hold onto is that I was attracted to her almost instantly once we began talking to each other. She was extremely flirtatious with me, during those first few moments, but even before she became flirty there was something about her I couldn't put my finger on (in a good way, like I wanted to be with her). So even way before she pulled her shit, I was having a flip floppy stomach, but once she started flirting, I was done for, and so began my journey into a mental break down. After writing that, it seems like I realized I could be into women before she became manipulative. But I still wonder, because people like that have a shiny demon glow to them.
I have been in the ***********EXACT************ same situation as you, except with another guy. It definitely sounds like sociopathic gaslighting to me Or an insanely closeted person with sociopathic traits that perhaps stem from being attractive and closeted ---------- Post added 28th Jul 2016 at 04:00 AM ---------- Another question, did you go to therapy just because of this situation? Ugh, for a while my situation ruined my mental health but I'm totally good now. But this makes me want to go to a therapist and tell my story just to have them 100% agree with me lol
That's definitely not a good sign. Perhaps there are still unresolved stuff buried somewhere. Sounds as if you feel you owe her something, when the story you have told us seems quite different. Sometimes it's not the dangerous person, it's the danger on them, just the danger, you know, something exciting and forbidden because it goes against our natural insctinct to stay away from it. That is precisely why we want it, and such people have developed skills of seduction (some of them can be quite good at it), so they can survive. I see them as the viruses of human relationships. They need a host, otherwise they can't do anything. I think you should rather pity her... And be proud of yourself for getting out before things went even worse.
heythere --- I didn't go to therapy specifically for it. I, funny enough, was in therapy prior for some anxiety stuff. She happened to pop up in the midst of it. It certainly entertained the hell out of my therapist! I definitely had a lot of issues after it. I couldn't wrap my head around what had happened, but I'm good now. I see that she wasn't right. It wasn't just her, though. It was questioning period. Michael -- I think my unresolved issue is having not been in a relationship yet. I do feel bad for her. I just want to cuddle her, the little dumb lamb!! lolol
