After months of feeling sad and insecure, today I finally had the feeling that I am on my way to accepting myself completely in a way that I never have before. I realized that I never have to feel ashamed of my attractions or repress my feelings any more. I have been so scared of acknowledging that my same sex attraction is real. Today I feel like I have accepted it and come to terms with the idea that I might be gay or bi, and that everything will be alright no matter what. One thing that has been driving me crazy is the fear that I might have have been lying to myself my entire life and that my opposite sex attraction is just something I convinced myself of. Now I definitely feel that my opposite sex attraction is real TOO. My attractions to men have been so reel to me at the time, and I did not make them up. My same sex attraction does not make any of my past relationships less real, and both sides of my sexuality can coexist. Right now, I don't know which attraction is stronger or how I will label myself in the future, but accepting all of my feelings and not forcing myself to "choose a side" definitely makes this easier. I just felt like I wanted to share that.
Great steps forward, Mifora! You don't have to label yourself if you don't want to. You're right, you can have both sides to your attraction. I, too, felt like I'd lied to myself and made up my love for the 2 men I loved. However, I came to realize that although I loved them, I wasn't attracted to them. I know that I'm capable of loving anyone, but I only attract to women. I can enjoy sex with a man, but it's more natural and comfortable with a woman. Because of those relevant ions I've chosen a label of lesbian, because I want a label for myself. However, I also fit the label panromantic, and I would accept that label, too.
That's great you are feeling happier, both sides of your sexuality can definetly coexist. Also great that you don't feel the need to figure out a label straightaway. I would just embrace your feelings and see where they take you
Thanks everyone! Rosepedals, I relate to some of your experiences. I have had some really important romantic relationships with men, and also one relationship with great sexual chemistry and attraction. Right now my same sex attraction feels stronger. It might be because I have been repressing it all my life, or it might stay that way, but I don't want to forget all the experiences I have had with men in the past. The my matter, too, they felt natural at the time and they have been an important part of my life no matter what happens. I have never had strong romantic feelings for a woman, but I guess it could happen. In some ways I envy the people who feel 100 percent straight or 100 percent gay, because it must be nice to feel certain. But that's just not me, and I have been driving myself crazy because for some reason I thought they were the only two options