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Need some insight

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Blank1, Aug 2, 2016.

  1. Blank1

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    Maybe this is where I need to post. While I'm not as old as some of the people here, I figure maybe someone can lend some insight.

    From when I was born to when I was 22, all was well. I liked girls, slept with girls, got excited at the thought of girls and being with them. I didn't grow up in a homophobic environment, sisters best friend was gay, family was accepting of gays. Never once really crossed my mind. I never really wanted kids or to get married after my parents divorce, so that was never a looming concern.

    Fast forward to 22. Went out with a girl, had a great time, but I ended up getting the I only want to be friends. That has happened many times. I went to bed wondering why all these girls wanted to just be my friend and not date me. I woke up and was immediately like you're gay. That's why every girl wants to be your friend. I'm 27, almost 28 now and my life has never been the same. Since then I have constantly checked, rechecked, looked and guys and girls and compared who I like more. I feel left without an answer. Due to the anxiety and stress, I don't get aroused much. I have gone on dates with girls but after it gets physical to a certain point I get terrible anxiety. Mainly because my mind is always like gay, gay, gay, gay. The other reason is because I'm so uncertain, I don't know what I want.

    Lastly, my entire family suffers from anxiety. Mom and dad are on meds, sister just had her attack and saw a therapist. I'm on my way to see one as well. Any insight or guidance would be nice. Also I have been and always was gay friendly. Had gay friends and one of my good friends is lesbian.
     
  2. RosePetals76

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    The biggest thing is if you like guys and not girls, you're probably gay. If you like girls and not guys, you're probably not. But, there's a wide variety of bi or pan in the middle. Only you can figure that put through experimenting. It's okay to relax and try different things. There is no pressure to label yourself. Date whoever you feel like whenever you feel like it.
     
  3. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi Bank1,

    I don't think you're too young to post here; I'm not much older than you. :slight_smile:

    As RosePetals says, there's no rush to find a label. Keep posting, reading threads and asking questions. Sorry to hear this is causing you a lot of anxiety.
     
  4. Patagonia

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    Don't mean to sound like an old geezer, but "when I was your age" I felt this incredible pressure to find someone - to be in serious relationship - or there was either something very wrong with me and if I didn't change that, I would be alone the rest of my life. Add to that, my desire to be who I really was versus who everyone else wanted me to be. I guess what I'm saying is, focus first on yourself and what really makes YOU comfortable. If someone makes you anxious, maybe its the person and not whether they are straight, gay or bi. Sure, I've met lots of straight people who I wish were gay - but they weren't. And I've met lots of gay people who honestly, I can't stand. Finding someone you really can connect with, on any level, not just sexually, is what's important. It can be extremely frustrating. But, young lady, you have so much life ahead of you. Start by feeling better about yourself and see yourself as someone who deserves to be loved. Because you do!
     
  5. Blank1

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    Thanks for the advice. I'm a guy if that clarification helps at all. I just don't know why everyday the first thing on my mind is gay, gay , gay. When I was t question and was straight, I never even worried about it. The question might come up in group conversation, everyone would answer and we'd move on. I made the mistake of asking for anxiety meds before and that in itself has made me pretty numb and unknowing as to what I want as well.