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Huge crush!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Izi, Aug 4, 2016.

  1. Izi

    Izi
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    So how do you deal with a huge crush and the urge to tell her every single minute? I knew I probably was into girls for about 7 years ago, but not accepting it fully. Now I just really KNOW :icon_bigg and I can´t understand how I could even think I was straight!! I have not come out to anyone yet (just dying to). I´ve been in a relationship with a man since I was 20 years old (over a decade) and we have kids, so i have been thinking he would be the first to tell, but I don´t think his reaction will be good, he is a bit homophobic :frowning2:
    She is actually the first I wanted to tell, even though I don´t think it will "win" her heart or anything. She´s in a relationship with a man. It just would be nice to tell her how amazing she is and how much just being with her has helped me. She´s someone I met on a class I take, and it ends soon, so not sure if I will see her again after that. She does live close by and know some of the people I know, so not a complete stranger though.

    Is there anything I could say to reveal that I like her without hitting on her? Or something to reveal that I am into girls without saying out loud that I´m bi? It would be awesome to have her in my life, even if it is just as a friend (*hug*)
    Would love any thoughts :slight_smile:
     
  2. Justasking100

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    Inthink sorting out what you want from your existing relationship is your priority. Your crush can wait until you know how you want to proceed. Unless that is you want to go behind your husbands back and in that case that's for you and your conscience to decide. If your bi and your husband is homophobic it might make things a little difficult but if he loves you he'll understand and if he doesn't understand then he's not for you in the long term. A difficult situation for you but not one that hasn't been aired on these boards before and one which can be resolved. Good luck.
     
  3. RosePetals76

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    I'd pursue the just a friend route to start, sort through your feelings on coming out, then maybe pursue the crush later when those are sorted through. You have to choose your own path, though. Maybe just ask if she'd like to go out for coffee or a drink sometime. And do it as her friend.
     
  4. Izi

    Izi
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    Thank you for your kind replys Justasking100 and RosePetals76 <3
     
  5. mvp 447

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    Yeah, don't spring it on someone out of left field. Dropping hints/using trial balloons is the way to go. And if that really is you in your picture, you probably have a higher chance of at least not being immediately shut down.