So, my gf and I have been talking about getting married a lot lately, and I am ready to propose to her. The only thing holding me back is that I really need to talk to my parents about how serious we are. I came out to them about a year ago and had been with my gf for about a year at that time. They were fairly accepting of it as I have a brother who came out as gay several years ago and it created a lot of drama between them. I didn't want it to result in a similar situation. Though they've been fairly accepting, it's not really something that we speak about completely openly. They're coming to town this weekend and I want to talk to them about possibly getting engaged, but I'm not sure how to even start the conversation. Any help, advice, or support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks EC crew!
I know this isn't the same. Or maybe it is. Idk. But I just casually asked my mother what she would think if I got a boyfriend. As non-accepting she was at first, she just let me know that she (and my dad) want to meet the guy, as is the case whenever my siblings get a significant other. Just casually bring it up and I don't know, see what they think of the idea or something. Just get to the point and be like, "so my partner and I would like to get married in the future, we have been going on for X amount of years. And we really have grown fond of each other. I just want to know what you think of us getting engaged"
Thanks! That's kind of another issue, my gf hasn't met my parents. Partly because they live 5 hours away and we haven't really had a good chance for them to meet. And partly because she's kinda scared of meeting them. Not that they'll be hateful, but it'll just be awkward. I'm hoping my gf can get a little bit of time off work this weekend and meet them, but that may or may not happen. I think once they meet her, I could open up the conversation leading into engagement talk. it just sucks because I'm so ready to get engaged, but I also don't want to ostracize my family either.
I gotchu. That sounds like a rough situation to be in. If she can't get off work to make a five hour drive or if she can't leave home for a weekend, have them meet through Skype or FaceTime or a similar platform. A five hour drive can be difficult to make if she has to work a particular weekend. And I totally understand not ostracizing them, just take baby steps; have your parents virtually meet with your girlfriend and then go from there. It doesn't have to be *meet* "oh hey by the way, this is the girl I want to marry." Let them get to know each other first. And then maybe have the engagement talk off cam or something.
My parents will actually be in town this weekend so it would be easier than a 5 hour drive. But my gf's work schedule is that she works every weekend and is off on Monday and Tuesday. I haven't had a chance to talk to her about possibly getting off early this weekend because this will be one of the busiest weekends for her. She manages a high end restaurant and this weekend is graduation weekend for the college. I'll be graduating and she can't even come to the ceremony. They're booked with reservations so I'm not sure what it will hold for her. I really want her to meet them but I know she's extremely nervous about it.
